Top Metal Jokes, Metal Puns, Metal Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best metal jokes, metal puns and metal dad jokes to make you laugh.

Rock On: The Funniest Metal Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

1. Why did the metalhead bring a ladder to the concert?
– He heard the music was going to be high-pitched!
2. How do metal musicians pay for things?
– With Slayer’s MasterCard!
3. Why do metalheads never get lost?
– Because they always follow the Iron Maiden!
4. What do you call a metal musician in a suit?
– A heavy metal!
5. How do you fix a broken heavy metal band?
– With a metal screw!
6. Why did the metalhead refuse to play the guitar?
– He didn’t want to fret about it!
7. What’s a metal musician’s favorite kind of restaurant?
– The heavy metal!
8. How did the metalhead get his hair to look so good?
– He used headbanging conditioner!
9. What do you call an archaeologist who loves heavy metal music?
– A rockologist!
10. Why did the metal band break up with their drummer?
– He was too “cymbal-minded”!

Heavy Metal Hilarity: Laugh Out Loud With These Jokes

1. Why did the metalhead bring a spoon to the concert?
– To eat some lead guitar!
2. How do you know if a metal band is in town?
– You can hear the heavy metal in the air!
3. What do you get when you cross a metalhead and a goat?
– A Black Sabbat!
4. Why did the metalhead go to the doctor?
– He was starting to feel a little metal-ill!
5. Why was the metal band always late for their gigs?
– Because they took forever to Slayer!
6. What does a metalhead use to write their music?
– Heavy metal sheets!
7. How many metal musicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
– None, they prefer to play in the dark!
8. Why did the metalhead bring a ladder to the concert?
– To get to the high notes!
9. How do you make a metal band disappear?
– Turn off the distortion pedal!
10. Why did the bassist break up with the lead singer?
– He couldn’t handle their rock-solid relationship!

Shred In Laughter: The Best Metal Jokes To Brighten Your Day

1. How do metalheads like their coffee?
– With a whole lotta heavy metallica!
2. What’s a metalhead’s favorite way to travel?
– By Metallica!
3. Why did the metal band hire a math tutor?
– To learn how to count time signatures!
4. How do you get a thrash metal band to clean up their mess?
– Tell them to Megadeth it!
5. Why did the metal band go to therapy?
– They had too many issues with distortion!
6. What do you call a metal band on a boat?
– A heavy metalfloat!
7. Why was the metalhead always a great cook?
– He knew how to turn up the heat!
8. What did the metal musician say to their haters?
– Walk this way and don’t Dream Theater!
9. How do you know if a metal band is being honest?
– They always speak the Iron Truth!
10. What’s a metalhead’s favorite dessert?
– Pantera cotta!

Mosh Pit of Humor: Metal Jokes That Will Rock Your World

1. Why did the metalhead take a ladder to the concert?
– He wanted to reach new heights of headbanging!
2. What do you call a metal band that loves to garden?
– Iron Weed!
3. How does a metal musician cook their food?
– They turn up the heat until it’s well done!
4. Why did the metal band always have a well-organized setlist?
– They were extremely good at structuring their metal!
5. What do you call a metalhead who’s always upbeat?
– A cheery for the devil!
6. Why did the metal musician win a Nobel Prize?
– For their skills in heavy metal-urgy!
7. How do metal musicians stay in shape?
– By headbang cardio!
8. Why did the metal band have trouble sleeping?
– They kept hearing metallica in their dreams!
9. What’s a metalhead’s favorite computer program?
– Microsoft Metal!
10. Why did the metal band always wear sunglasses?
– They couldn’t handle the bright lights of fame!

Headbanger’s Paradise: Hilarious Metal Jokes That Will Have You Rolling in Laughter

1. Why couldn’t the metal band play a gig in the jungle?
– There were too many Guns N’ Roses!
2. How does a metalhead fix a broken car?
– With a Tool kit!
3. What do you call a metal musician’s car?
– A Metallica!
4. Why was the metalhead thrown out of the art museum?
– He kept trying to steal Iron Maiden!
5. How does a metal band keep warm in the winter?
– They huddle around a Slayer!
6. Why did the metal musician go to the library?
– To read up on Black Sabbath-tical analysis!
7. What do you call a metal musician’s favorite pet?
– A Rammstein!
8. Why did the metalhead bring a net to the concert?
– To catch all the headbanging flies!
9. How did the metal band know they had made it big?
– When they started seeing Metallica in their bank account!
10. Why did the metal band play in the snow?
– For some Black Blizzard fun!