In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best massage jokes, massage puns and massage dad jokes to make you laugh.
Knot Your Average Jokes: Hilarious Massage Puns
1. Why did the masseuse break up with the chef? He kept rubbing her the wrong way!
2. What did the massage therapist say to the skunk? You really stink at relaxing!
3. Why did the massage therapist go to school? To get a sense of touch!
4. What do you call a chiropractor who also gives massages? A spine-tingling combo!
5. How does a massage therapist know when they’ve hit a pressure point? They feel the stress melt away!
6. Why did the man get kicked out of the massage parlor? He couldn’t keep his hands to himself!
7. What did the massage therapist say to the hamburger? Lettuce be kneaded!
8. Why did the massage therapist go broke? They kept giving things away for free – they just couldn’t rub it in!
9. What do you call a massage therapist who plays guitar? A strumming sensation!
10. Why did the massage therapist go to the party? They heard there would be a lot of knots to work out!
Rolling on the Floor Laughing: The Top Massage Jokes Guaranteed to Make You LOL
1. How does the moon relax? It gets a lunar massage!
2. Why did the massage therapist go to the beach? To work on their sand-kneading skills!
3. What do you call a bear that gives massages? A paw-fessional!
4. Why did the massage therapist start a band? They were tired of working solo and wanted to play some back-tension music!
5. What’s a massage therapist’s favorite movie? “Rubbing Nemo”!
6. Why did the massage therapist bring a pencil to the session? To do some sketchy work on those sore muscles!
7. What did the massage therapist say to the stressed-out balloon? Let me help you let go of that hot air!
8. Why did the skeleton go to the massage therapist? To get a good ribbing!
9. What do you call a massage therapist in a hurry? A quick-kneader!
10. Why did the doctor give the massage therapist a prescription? They needed to take a dose of “relax”!
Rub-a-Dub-Dub: Funny Massage Jokes for Some Good Vibes
1. Why did the massage therapist always carry a ladder? They wanted to reach new heights of relaxation!
2. What do you call a massage therapist who loves animals? A petting professional!
3. Why did the massage therapist take a job at the bakery? They wanted to knead something besides dough!
4. What do you call a massage therapist with a good sense of humor? A comf-pun-ion!
5. How do massage therapists communicate? Through their knots and kneads!
6. Why did the massage therapist have a hard time focusing? They kept getting side-tracked by all the knots!
7. What did the massage therapist say to their client in a hurry? Let’s speed up this rub-down – no time to knead around!
8. Why did the massage therapist bring a map to the session? They wanted to make sure they didn’t miss any stress zones!
9. What do you call a massage therapist who’s also a DJ? A spin and win sensation!
10. Why did the massage therapist go to the art museum? They wanted to brush up on their relaxation techniques!
Don’t Be Tense, Let’s Have a Laugh: The Best Massage Jokes to Lighten the Mood
1. Why did the massage therapist trade in their table for a frying pan? They wanted to stir up some relaxation!
2. What do you call a massage therapist with a cold? A sniff-kneader!
3. Why did the massage therapist get a job on the football team? They wanted to tackle those knots head-on!
4. What’s a massage therapist’s favorite type of shoe? Loafers – they’re great for kneading!
5. Why did the massage therapist start growing herbs in their garden? They wanted to add a little “spice” to their sessions!
6. What do you call a massage therapist who’s also a magician? A wand-waving wonder!
7. Why did the massage therapist take up cooking? They heard it was a great way to work out the kinks!
8. What did the massage therapist say to the stressed-out sandwich? Let me take the weight off your bread!
9. What do you call a massage therapist who’s always cold? A chill-rubbin’ expert!
10. Why did the massage therapist become a detective? They wanted to solve the mystery of the tense muscles!
Knead a Chuckle? Look No Further: Side-Splitting Massage Jokes for a Good Time
1. Why did the massage therapist become a lifeguard? They heard there were some tense swimmers in need of a rescue!
2. What do you call a massage therapist who’s also a gardener? A plant-tastic healer!
3. Why did the massage therapist join the circus? They wanted to show off their knot-tying skills!
4. What’s a massage therapist’s favorite type of music? Smooth jazz – it’s perfect for setting the relaxing mood!
5. Why did the massage therapist become a mechanic? They wanted to show people how to work out those knots and bolts!
6. What do you call a massage therapist who’s also a painter? A brush-stroking sensation!
7. Why did the massage therapist start learning a new language? They wanted to be able to communicate with their knots in any tongue!
8. What did the massage therapist say to the stressed-out rubber band? Let me help you relax and bounce back!
9. Why did the massage therapist start hiking in the mountains? They wanted to work out those high-altitude knots!
10. What do you call a massage therapist who’s also a gardener? A bloom and groom genius!