Top Lisbon Jokes, Lisbon Puns, Lisbon Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best lisbon jokes, lisbon puns and lisbon dad jokes to make you laugh.

Laugh your way through Lisbon: The funniest jokes about the city

1. Why did the tourist fall asleep on the tram in Lisbon? He heard it was a great place for siestas!
2. What did the street performer in Lisbon say to the tourist? “You can’t spell ‘Lisbon’ without ‘sin’!”
3. Why did the fado singer bring a ladder to the concert in Lisbon? To reach those high notes!
4. What did the pastry chef in Lisbon say when asked how he makes his famous pastel de nata? “It’s all in the custard-y details!”
5. Why did the ghost refuse to haunt the streets of Lisbon? Because they were already too charming!
6. What did the taxi driver say to the tourist who couldn’t find his hotel in Lisbon? “Looks like you’ve been taken for a ride!”
7. Why did the Lisbon soccer team go to the bank? To get their goalkeeper money!
8. What did the tourist say when he saw the hills of Lisbon? “Looks like I’ll be getting a workout on this vacation!”
9. Why did the seafood restaurant in Lisbon only serve octopus and calamari? They wanted to give customers a taste of the “tentacle” city!
10. What did the tour guide in Lisbon say to the group of tourists who couldn’t stop taking selfies? “Looks like Lisbon is really picture-perfect!”

Lis-bonkers: Hilarious Lisbon jokes that will crack you up

1. Why did the street performer in Lisbon only play sad songs? He was feeling “fado”!
2. What did the Lisbon sniper say to his target? “You’ve just been Tagus-ed!”
3. Why was the Lisbon flea market always busy? Because everyone wanted to get in on the “ant-ique” action!
4. What did the pickpocket in Lisbon say when caught stealing a wallet? “I was just practicing my Portuguese – it’s all about ‘pocketing the cash’!”
5. Why did the Lisbon taxi driver carry a map in his glove box? In case he got lost in the “maze” of streets!
6. What did the Lisbon doctor prescribe for a tourist with a broken camera? A “panoramic” view of the city!
7. Why did the Lisbon baker only make square-shaped loaves of bread? Because he refused to cut corners!
8. What did the Lisbon tour guide say when asked about the city’s history? “Let me ‘ruin’ your day with some interesting facts!”
9. Why did the Lisbon magician get a job at the circus? He wanted to show off his “Trick de Belem”!
10. What did the Lisbon bartender say to the tourist ordering a mojito? “Sorry, we only serve ‘gin’-tric drinks here!”

Funny bone ticklers: The best jokes about Lisbon that will make you burst with laughter

1. Why did the Lisbon fishmonger never sell mackerel? Because he couldn’t “scale” the demand!
2. What did the Lisbon chef say when asked for the secret ingredient in his famous Bacalhau à Brás? “It’s gotta have a ‘salt-y’ twist!”
3. Why did the tourist in Lisbon bring a ladder to the Alfama district? To get a higher view of all the colorful buildings!
4. What did the Lisbon museum curator say to the tourist touching the artifacts? “Hands off! We don’t need any ‘broken tile’ cases here!”
5. Why did the Lisbon Instagrammer post a picture of the iconic trams? To show off his “electric” personality!
6. What did the Lisbon sailor say when asked how he navigates the Tagus River? “I just go with the ‘flow’ – and the tide!”
7. Why did the Lisbon rooftop bar only serve cocktails with a view? Because they wanted to give customers a taste of the high life!
8. What did the Lisbon ghost say when asked why he haunted the tower of Belem? “I’m just ‘keeping watch’!”
9. Why did the Lisbon poet write a sonnet about the seven hills? Because he couldn’t resist the ‘elevated’ beauty of the city!
10. What did the Lisbon souvenir shop owner say when asked for a discount on a tile? “I’m afraid that’s not in the ‘pattern’ of things here!”

Lisbon humor at its finest: Top jokes guaranteed to make you giggle

1. Why did the Lisbon baker’s bread rise so high? Because he used the “yeast of his worries”!
2. What did the Lisbon street performer say when asked why he played the accordion? “It’s all about ‘squeezing the music’ out of me!”
3. Why did the Lisbon bicycle always complain about its brakes? It was tired of going “downhill” all the time!
4. What did the Lisbon seagull say to the tourist with a sandwich? “Share the ‘cliff’ notes, buddy!”
5. Why did the Lisbon graffiti artist only use blue paint? He wanted to add a touch of “azulejo” to the streets!
6. What did the Lisbon barista say to the customer who wanted a tall latte? “Sorry, we can only do ‘São Jorge’ shots here!”
7. Why did the Lisbon park always have a line for the swing set? Because everyone wanted to “hang out” with the best view of the city!
8. What did the Lisbon hipster say when asked why he only drank craft beer? “I’m just trying to ‘raisin-ify’ my tastes!”
9. Why did the Lisbon comedian always tell jokes about the trams? Because they were always on track to get a laugh!
10. What did the Lisbon fortune teller predict for the tourist’s trip? “You’ll have a ‘steep hill’ to climb – but it’ll be worth the view!”

LOL in Lisbon: A compilation of the most amusing jokes about the city