In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best liquor jokes, liquor puns and liquor dad jokes to make you laugh.
Pouring on the Fun: Hilarious Liquor Jokes to Keep You Laughing
1. Why did the vodka go to the party alone? Because it couldn’t find a mixer!
2. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. What do you call fake liquor? A tequila mockinbird.
3. Why did the wine break up with the beer? Because it couldn’t handle its drinking problem!
4. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
5. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
6. How do you drown a hipster? In the mainstream.
7. What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
8. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
9. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
10. I invented a new word! Plagiarism.
Shots Fired: Side-Splitting Drinking Jokes That Will Have You in Stitches
1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
2. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
3. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
4. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
5. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
6. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
7. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
8. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
9. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
10. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
On the Rocks: The Best Funny Liquor Jokes to Shake Up Your Day
1. What do you call the Vodka with ice cubes? Igloo.
2. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
3. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? There was nothing left but de-brie.
4. Why don’t some fish play piano? You can’t tuna fish.
5. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
6. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
7. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
8. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
9. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
10. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
Cheers to Humor: Top Shelf Booze Jokes That Are Bound to Make You Smile
1. Why do bartenders make good gardeners? They know how to mix drinks!
2. Why did the grape stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice!
3. What do you call a drunk man hitting on a woman at the bar? A smooth operator!
4. Did you hear about the man who was arrested for stealing a case of Red Bull? He got charged with battery!
5. Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.
6. What do you call a bear that doesn’t have any teeth? A gummy bear!
7. Why did the bartender break up with the gin? It had too many hangovers!
8. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!
9. Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt quacks!
10. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
Raise a Glass to Laughter: Unforgettable Liquor Jokes That Will Have You Raising Your Spirits
1. What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
2. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
3. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
4. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? She will let it go.
5. What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.
6. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
7. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
8. Why was the stadium so cool? It was filled with fans.
9. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
10. I would tell you a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.