Top Legume Jokes, Legume Puns, Legume Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best legume jokes, legume puns and legume dad jokes to make you laugh.

Beans, Beans, They’re Good for Your Spleen: Hilarious Bean Jokes to Make You Laugh

1. Why did the bean go to school? Because it wanted to be a smart cookie!
2. What do you call a magical bean? A fairy bean!
3. How do beans get around? They take the “soy”bean!
4. What did the green bean say to the kidney bean? You’re a sight for “sore peas”!
5. Why are beans bad at relationships? They always give you the silent treatment!
6. What’s a bean’s favorite dance move? The salsa!
7. How do you know if a bean is lying? It’s full of baloney!
8. What do you call a bean that’s an imposter? A sham-pea!
9. Why did the bean turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
10. Why was the bean afraid of going to the dance? It was afraid it would “split”!

Peas Please! The Funniest Pea Jokes Sure to Crack You Up

1. Why did the pea win the race? Because it was ahead of its time!
2. What do you call a sad pea? Mopea!
3. Why do peas always feel at home in the kitchen? Because it’s where the “mashing” takes place!
4. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a pea? Frosty the Snowpea!
5. Why did the pea go to therapy? It had some serious “issues” to sort out!
6. How do peas communicate with each other? Through their tele-pea-thy!
7. What’s a pea’s favorite movie genre? “Pea-rrors”!
8. Why did the pea refuse to fight? It wanted to “peas” out!
9. What do you call a pea who’s a good actor? Oscar Pea!
10. Why don’t peas ever get in trouble? Because they always “pod” their best behavior!

Leguminous Laughs: The Top Lentil Jokes for a Good Chuckle

1. Why did the lentil start a band? Because it had a “pulse” for music!
2. What do you call a lentil with a sense of humor? A “fun-guy”!
3. Why did the lentils break up? They had too many “split” opinions!
4. How do lentils stay in shape? They “legume” at the gym!
5. What’s a lentil’s favorite TV show? “The Legumens”!
6. Why was the lentil always the life of the party? Because it had a “splitting” personality!
7. How do lentils take their coffee? With a little “bean” of sugar!
8. What did the lentil say to the chickpea? Let’s “split” and “peas” out!
9. Why did the lentil refuse to jump? It was afraid of “split”ting!
10. What do you call a lentil who loves to travel? A “globetrotter”!

Chickpea Chuckles: Rib-Tickling Jokes About Everyone’s Favorite Legume

1. Why did the chickpea go to the party? It heard there would be “hummus” there!
2. What do you call a chickpea who’s a mess? A “chick-peat”!
3. Why do chickpeas make terrible secret keepers? Because they always “spill the beans”!
4. How do chickpeas cheer each other up? They give each other “pep” talks!
5. What’s a chickpea’s favorite sport? “Hummus” ball!
6. Why did the chickpea turn red? Because it saw the salad dress-ing!
7. How do chickpeas stay organized? They keep everything in “chick-pea” order!
8. What did the chickpea say to the lentil? Let’s “pea” friends!
9. Why did the chickpea go to therapy? It had “garbanzo” issues to work through!
10. What do you call a chickpea that’s a good singer? A “tun-a chickpea”!