In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best legal jokes, legal puns and legal dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Hilarious Legal Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Your Briefs Off
1. Why do lawyers make terrible fishermen? Because they can’t help but bring up old cases.
2. How many lawyer jokes are there? Only three. The rest are true stories.
3. Why did the lawyer bring a ladder to court? He heard the case was on the Supreme Level.
4. What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t chase ambulances? Retired.
5. Why did the lawyer go to the beach? To catch a case wave.
6. How does a lawyer sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
7. Why don’t lawyers play hide and seek? Nobody would look for them.
8. How do you know a lawyer is lying? Their lips are moving.
9. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.
10. Why was the lawyer always calm in court? He had a lot of appeal.
2. Top 10 Side-Splitting Lawyer Jokes for a Good Chuckle
1. How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? You can’t fit a finger between the rope and his neck.
2. Why don’t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.
3. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of elephants? The elephants have a lawyer.
4. Why did the lawyer cross the road? To get to the car accident on the other side.
5. How many lawyers does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them.
6. Why do lawyers make great opera singers? They can hit those high notes when they see the bill.
7. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer miles.
8. How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? Just say “fees!”
9. Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before trial? He was looking for “Loopholes.”
10. Why did the lawyer wear a court-themed shirt? He wanted to “argue his case.”
3. Laugh Out Loud with These Rib-Tickling Legal Jokes
1. Why was the lawyer always at the dentist? He loved to argue tooth and nail.
2. What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers? Skeet.
3. Why did the lawyer bring a pencil to court? They wanted to draw their own conclusions.
4. Why did the lawyer bring a thermometer to court? They heard the case was hot.
5. What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t play fair? Unlawful.
6. Why did the lawyer wear sunglasses to court? They had a bright future ahead.
7. How does a lawyer say goodbye? “Case closed!”
8. How do lawyers prevent wrinkles? They never lose an appeal.
9. Why did the lawyer break up with their judge partner? They kept finding fault in everything.
10. What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a demon? A lawsuit.
4. Funny Legal One-Liners That Will Have You Rolling in the Courtroom
1. Who’s not a lawyer but still gets paid to argue? A spouse.
2. Why do lawyers make terrible musicians? They can’t handle the scales of justice.
3. How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.
4. Why did the lawyer bring a map to court? They heard it was a sticky case.
5. When do lawyers cry? When they don’t get their briefs.
6. I’ll never forget my first court case. It was a brief experience.
7. What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your honor.
8. Why do lawyers love Harry Potter? They can relate to someone working against all odds.
9. Why do lawyers love to play golf? It’s a great way to avoid the rough.
10. What’s the one thing a lawyer always brings to a gunfight? Their briefcase.
5. Jokes Only Lawyers Will Understand and Find Amusing
1. Why did the lawyer bring a thesaurus to court? To avoid any sentences.
2. How do you make a lawyer smile for a picture? Just say “fee-sh!”
3. What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t wear a suit? Disbarred.
4. How do you know a lawyer is in the room? They’re the one objecting to everything.
5. Why do lawyers like basketball? They love the idea of a court where traveling is allowed.
6. What’s a lawyer’s favorite instrument? The lyre, because it rhymes with “liar.”
7. How do you know a lawyer is lying? Their lips are moving and they’re in a courtroom.
8. Why don’t lawyers go to the beach? Cat-like reflexes don’t fare well in sandy settings.
9. What did the lawyer name his daughter? Sue.
10. Why do lawyers make great actors? They can fake sincerity with ease.