In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best jewelry jokes, jewelry puns and jewelry dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Sparkle and Shine: The Funniest Jewelry Jokes to Brighten Your Day
1. Why did the diamond break up with the ruby? It just couldn’t handle the pressure.
2. What did the engagement ring say to the wedding ring? “I’m just gonna put a band on it.”
3. Why did the jewelry store hire a comedian? To add some sparkle to the sales pitch.
4. What type of jewelry do ghosts wear? Boo-tiful earrings.
5. How does a jeweler tell time? With a diamond watch, of course!
6. Why did the necklace go to school? To get a little more class.
7. What’s a vampire’s favorite type of jewelry? A bat necklace.
8. Why was the tennis bracelet always so good at sports? It had a great wrist serve.
9. What did the diamond say to the necklace? “You complete me.”
10. Why did the gold bracelet go to therapy? It had too many issues to work through.
2. Gems of Humor: Hilarious Jokes About Jewelry for Every Occasion
1. Why did the diamond go to school? It wanted to be a little “brighter.”
2. What did the jewelry say to the bank? “I’m here to make a deposit… of style!”
3. Why was the pearl always so calm? It had a lot of inner peace.
4. What do you call a group of jewelry thieves? The Bling Ring.
5. How do you know when a necklace is lying? Its story just doesn’t “hang” together.
6. Why did the earring always give good advice? It had a great ear for listening.
7. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of jewelry? Bootylicious jewels.
8. Why did the bracelet get detention? It was caught handing out too many charms.
9. What’s a jewelry designer’s favorite day of the year? Gem-stone Day.
10. Why did the diamond hide from the other gems? It had too many facets to handle.
3. Laughing All the Way to the Jewelry Store: Funny Jokes About Bling
1. Why did the bracelet break up with the necklace? It just needed some space.
2. What did the jewelry thief say to the police? “I didn’t mean to take a shine to it.”
3. Why was the ruby always so emotional? It had a lot of facets to its personality.
4. How did the diamond propose to the sapphire? It popped the question with a sparkle.
5. What did the jeweler say to the customer who wanted a discount? “Sorry, I can’t make your dreams come true at half carat.”
6. Why did the ring go to therapy? It had a lot of commitment issues.
7. What’s a dog’s favorite type of jewelry? A collar with some real bark to it.
8. Why did the gemstone go to the party? It wanted to be the “life of the carat.”
9. What did the bracelet say to the necklace? “You’re a real gem to hang out with.”
10. Why was the pendant always so thoughtful? It had a lot of dangling ideas.
4. Putting the “Pun” in Pendant: Jewelry Jokes That Will Leave You in Stitches
1. Why was the bracelet always so loud? It had a lot of charms to share.
2. What did the jewelry box say to the bracelet? “I’ve got your back covered, or front… It’s all good!”
3. Why did the diamond break the law? It just couldn’t resist a carat chase.
4. How do you make a necklace laugh? You tickle its chains.
5. Why was the pendant always so polite? It had a lot of pendant-ing issues.
6. What did the earrings say to the necklace? “Hang in there, we’re all just in a tangle sometimes.”
7. Why did the ring get a job at the circus? It had a lot of carat tricks up its sleeve.
8. What’s a musician’s favorite type of jewelry? A treble clef necklace.
9. Why did the earrings go on strike? They just couldn’t hang around anymore.
10. What did the jewelry say to the mirror? “Reflect on this – I’m the fairest of them all!”
5. A Gem of a Laugh: The Best Jewelry Jokes to Make You Smile
1. Why was the necklace always so chatty? It had a lot of pearls of wisdom to share.
2. What did the bracelet say to the earrings? “Let’s hang out together, we make a great pair.”
3. Why did the diamond go to the party alone? It wanted to show off its single status.
4. How did the jewelry thief get caught? He left too many ring prints at the scene.
5. What do you call a jewelry store that sells only watches? A timely boutique.
6. Why was the pearl always so smooth? It had a lot of luster to maintain.
7. What’s a comedian’s favorite type of jewelry? A pun-dant necklace.
8. Why did the ruby get a job in fashion? It had a lot of red carpet appeal.
9. What did the ring say to the bracelet? “You and I make a great team, we’re a real gem of a match.”
10. Why did the jewelry box go to school? It wanted to learn how to hold its own against the gems.