Top Ice Hockey Jokes, Ice Hockey Puns, Ice Hockey Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best ice hockey jokes, ice hockey puns and ice hockey dad jokes to make you laugh.

Table of Contents

Slapshot Laughs: The Top Ice Hockey Jokes to Make You Chuckle

Why did the hockey player go to jail? Because he was a repeat offender!
What do you call a snowman playing ice hockey? A slippery character!
Why did the hockey puck stop rolling? It was tired of being scored on!
How do hockey players stay cool during a game? They have lots of fans!
Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear – perfect for playing ice hockey!
Why do hockey players never get lost in the forest? Because of all the ice markers!
Why did the hockey goalie become an artist? Because he knew how to draw the pad!
What do you call a snowman with a six pack? An abdominal snowman – perfect for playing hockey!
Why do hockey players make terrible criminals? Because they always get caught in the penalty box!

Why don’t hockey players ever play hide and seek? Good luck finding someone wearing all that gear!
What did the puck say to the goalpost? “You’re my number one fan!”
Why was the hockey game postponed? Because the puck was ice-olated!
What do you call a penguin playing ice hockey? A chill penguin!
Why did the hockey player bring a pencil to the game? In case he needed to draw a penalty!
What do you call a toothless hockey player? A gummy bear on ice!
What do you call a hockey player who’s good at math? A goal-digger!
Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? He heard the competition was high!
Why did the hockey player bring an extra pair of socks? In case he needed a face-off!
What do you call a snowman with a broken leg? A cold-cast – perfect for cheering on the hockey team!

Why was the hockey game so hot? Because the players were breakin’ the ice!
Why did the hockey player wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hat trick!
What did the hockey player name his pet turtle? Slapshot!
Why do hockey players make terrible burglars? They always get caught breaking into the net!
What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of joke? One that’s a real slap-shot to the funny bone!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a doctor? A puck-titioner!
What did the hockey coach say to the zamboni? “You’re on thin ice!”
Why did the hockey player bring an umbrella to the game? In case of a puck-rain!
What do you call a hockey player with a great sense of humor? The pun-master of the rink!
Why did the hockey player bring a map to the game? In case he needed to go into overtime!

Why did the zamboni break up with the ice rink? It couldn’t handle the cold shoulder!
What did the zamboni say to the ice? “You’re so smooth, I could drive on you all day!”
Why don’t zambonis ever get lost? Because they always stay on the right track!
What do you call a zamboni at the beach? A smooth operator!
Why did the zamboni go to therapy? It needed to work out some ice-sues!
What do you call a zamboni with a bad attitude? An ice-cold machine!
What’s a zamboni’s favorite type of music? Anything chill-strumental!
Why did the zamboni get a speeding ticket? It was caught trying to break the ice record!
What do you call a zamboni who loves to tell jokes? The punniest machine on ice!
Why did the zamboni’s friends throw it a party? To celebrate its smooth moves!

Why do hockey players always make good comedians? They never fail to put the puck in the punchline!
What did the hockey player name his pet fish? Slapshot – because it always swims upstream!
Why did the hockey player eat his stick? He needed something to puck on!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a magician? The puck wizard!
Why was the hockey game so intense? Because the players were really stick-ing it to each other!
What did the hockey player say to the ice? “See you later, ice all-gator!”
Why did the hockey player bring a shovel to the game? In case he needed to dig deep for a win!
What do you call a hockey player who loves to tell jokes? The slapstick of the rink!
Why did the hockey player become a chef? He heard he was great at cooking up goals!
What do you call a hockey game between two octopuses? A tense-tacle match!