In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best housewarming jokes, housewarming puns and housewarming dad jokes to make you laugh.
Breaking the Ice: Hilarious Housewarming Jokes to Lighten the Mood
1. Why did the house go to the doctor? It had a bad case of the “shingles.”
2. What do you call a ghost’s favorite room in the house? The living room!
3. Why did the refrigerator blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
4. What did the wall say to the trowel? “I’ve got you covered.”
5. Why did the lamp break up with the ceiling fan? It couldn’t handle the constant “flip-flopping.”
6. What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner.”
7. Why did the window break up with the door? It couldn’t handle the constant slamming.
8. Why did the mirror break up with the sink? It couldn’t handle the constant reflection.
9. What do you call a bear in a bed? A “bear”-y cozy home.
10. Why did the rug go to the gym? It wanted to work on its “car-pet” tunnels.
Punny Patter: Funny One-Liners to Make Your New Home Feel Like a Comedy Club
1. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
2. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
3. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
4. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
5. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
6. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
7. I’m on a sea food diet. I see food, I eat it.
8. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
9. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
10. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
Room by Room Roasts: Laugh-out-Loud Jokes for Every Corner of the House
1. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.
2. Why did the potato go to the kitchen? It wanted to get “mashed.”
3. Why did the closet win an award? Because it was outstanding in its field.
4. Why did the bedroom break up with the bathroom? It couldn’t handle the constant “draining” conversations.
5. Why are walls so good at math? They know all the angles.
6. Why did the sofa break up with the ottoman? It couldn’t handle the constant “footing” the bill.
7. Why did the rug get a promotion? It was on a roll!
8. Why did the microwave break up with the toaster? It just couldn’t deal with the “heat.”
9. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
10. Why did the shoe rack get elected president? It had the most sole.
Knock, Knock, Who’s There? Side-Splitting Jokes for Welcoming Guests with Laughter
1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? No silly, cow says MOO!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you and I miss you!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in and we’ll tell you!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and let me in!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Robin. Robin who? Robin you—hand over the cash!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, silly, cows go moo!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? There’s no need to cry; it’s just a joke!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? Butter let me in before you freeze out here!
Home Sweet Ha-Ha: Witty Jokes to Turn Your Housewarming Party into a Stand-Up Comedy Event
1. Why did the onion break up with the garlic? It just couldn’t handle the “tears.”
2. Why did the chimney and fireplace break up? They had a flue.
3. Why did the television break up with the remote? It couldn’t handle the constant “channel surfing.”
4. Why did the rug break up with the hardwood floor? It just couldn’t handle the “sweeping” generalizations.
5. Why did the clock break up with the calendar? It couldn’t handle the “time” apart.
6. Why did the couch break up with the recliner? It just needed some “space.”
7. Why did the blender break up with the toaster? It couldn’t handle the “heat.”
8. Why did the microwave break up with the popcorn maker? It just couldn’t handle the “popping.”
9. Why did the lamp break up with the light bulb? It just couldn’t handle the constant “on-off” relationship.
10. Why did the bed break up with the nightstand? It couldn’t handle the constant “drawer”ing attention.