In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best hospital jokes, hospital puns and hospital dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. “Laughing is the Best Medicine: The Funniest Hospital Jokes Guaranteed to Make You LOL”
1. Why did the scarecrow go to the hospital? Because he was feeling a little “corny”!
2. What do you call a sketchy neighborhood hospital? The “I.C.U.”
3. Why did the doctor carry a red pen? In case they needed to draw blood!
4. What did one tonsil say to the other? “You look infected, are you really feeling ok?”
5. What do you call a doctor who fixes websites? A URLologist!
6. Why did the surgeon break up with the nurse? They just didn’t have any “suture” feelings.
7. Why did the nurse always carry a red pen? In case they needed to “mark” a patient urgent!
8. Why was the hospital so hot? Because all the patients had “fevers”!
9. What do you call an operation that’s performed in a police car? Sirenic surgery!
10. Why did the doctor carry a ladder? In case they needed to give the patients a “second opinion”!
2. “Operating Room Humor: Hilarious Jokes from the Surgical Suite”
1. Why did the surgeon carry a calculator in the operating room? To do some “divide and conquer”!
2. Why did the anesthesiologist break up with the surgeon? They just couldn’t find any common “anesthetize”!
3. What do you call a surgeon with a big ego? A “gland” surgeon!
4. Why was the operating room so funny? Because it had all the “organ”ized laughter!
5. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on telling jokes during the surgery? “I need you to be cutting down on the chuckles!”
6. Why did the surgeon bring a knife to the comedy club? To “cut” through the laughter!
7. Why did the surgeon always carry a mirror? To “reflect” on their work!
8. What did the scalpel say to the patient? “It’s time to make the first “cut”!”
9. Why was the surgeon always calm under pressure? Because they had all the “vein” experience!
10. Why did the doctor become a comedian? They just couldn’t get enough of the “cutting” jokes!
3. “Nurse Jokes that Will Make You Chuckle All the Way to Recovery”
1. Why did the nurse carry a red pen and a ruler? In case they needed to “draw blood” and “measure” the seriousness of the situation!
2. Why did the nurse always bring a stethoscope to a party? To “listen” to all the heartwarming stories!
3. What do you call a nurse who loves to dance? A “hip replacement”!
4. Why do nurses always have great stories to tell? Because they have all the “pulse” on the latest gossip!
5. Why did the nurse wear a tennis shoe to work? In case they needed to “run” to the emergency!
6. What did one nurse say to the other during a busy shift? “This is “IV” therapy at its finest!”
7. Why did the nurse have a hard time quitting their job? They just couldn’t find a “band-aid” solution!
8. What’s a nurse’s favorite type of music? “ER” B!
9. Why did the nurse carry a flashlight everywhere? In case they needed to “illuminate” the situation!
10. Why did the nurse always have a smile on their face? Because they had all the “positive” vibes!
4. “Emergency Room Laughs: The Best Jokes to Brighten Your Day”
1. Why did the emergency room doctor always carry a notebook? In case they needed to “note” a life-saving detail!
2. Why did the patient refuse to tell the doctor their weight? They just didn’t want to “scale” back the conversation!
3. What do you call a doctor who loves to fish? A “reel” doctor!
4. Why did the thermometer break up with the blood pressure cuff? They just couldn’t find any “pressure” points!
5. Why did the emergency room wait times seem endless? Because they were “EKG”ing forever!
6. What’s a doctor’s favorite type of bean? “KID-ney” beans!
7. Why did the emergency room doctor always have a great poker face? They had all the “card-iac” experience!
8. Why did the patient bring a ladder to the ER? They just wanted to “climb” out of the situation!
9. What do you call an operation that’s performed by a comedian? A “gags”ectomy!
10. Why did the doctor always carry a tissue? In case they needed to “wipe” away the tears of laughter!
5. “Doctor, Doctor! The Most Side-Splitting Medical Jokes for a Good Laugh”
1. Why did the doctor carry a map in their pocket? In case they needed to “chart” the patient’s progress!
2. What do you call a doctor who’s always on time? “Punctual-ist”!
3. Why did the doctor break up with the X-ray technician? They just couldn’t “see through” the relationship!
4. What did the doctor say to the patient who insisted on telling jokes during the exam? “I need you to keep your “pulses” small!”
5. Why did the doctor always have a great sense of humor? They had all the “antibodies” against boredom!
6. Why was the doctor’s handwriting always so hard to read? They had all the “scribble” experience!
7. Why did the doctor always bring a stethoscope to the theater? They just couldn’t resist all the “hear-t” touching moments!
8. What’s a doctor’s favorite type of music? “O-piano”!
9. Why did the doctor always carry a reflex hammer? In case they needed to “hammer out” a solution!
10. Why did the doctor become a comedian? They just couldn’t resist all the “sick” jokes!