In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best horse race jokes, horse race puns and horse race dad jokes to make you laugh.
The Ultimate Derby of Humor: Top 10 Hilarious Horse Race Jokes
1. Why did the jockey go to school?
To improve his horsepower!
2. What’s a horse’s favorite TV show?
Neighbors.
3. Why did the horse go behind the tree?
To change his jockeys!
4. Why don’t horses use smartphones?
Because they can’t find stable connections.
5. How do you know if a horse is happy?
They don’t rein in their excitement!
6. Why was the horse happy at the finish line?
Because he found it neigh-r impossible to get there.
7. What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A neighbor!
8. Why did the jockey put a clock under his horse?
Because he wanted to ride on time!
9. Why did the jockey bring string to the horse race?
To tie up the competition!
10. Why was the horse a terrible comedian?
Because he couldn’t find his mane joke!
Winning the Race of Laughter: Side-Splitting Jokes from the Track
1. Did you hear about the horse who became a musician?
He had a hit single – it was a neigh-sayer!
2. Why did the jockey always carry a map?
In case he wanted to take a different course.
3. What do you call a group of horses playing poker?
A stable hand!
4. Why did the horse join the military?
He heard they wanted to put him in the cavalry.
5. Why did the horse go to the doctor?
He was feeling a little hoarse.
6. What do you call a horse that likes to be the center of attention?
Show-pony.
7. Why was the horse such a good storyteller?
He had a lot of tales to tell.
8. What’s a horse’s favorite type of music?
Neigh-sayers.
9. Why couldn’t the horse find his passport?
He had it in his saddlebag the whole time!
10. What do you call a horse that likes to take naps?
A snooze-jockey.
Trotting Towards Comedy Gold: Unbridled Laughs from the Horse Racing World
1. Did you hear about the horse who could do math?
They called him a galloping calculator.
2. Why did the jockey wear two pairs of pants to the race?
In case he got a little horse.
3. What do you call a horse that lives in the ocean?
Seashorse.
4. Why did the horse cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
5. How do you make a small fortune at the horse races?
Start with a large one!
6. Why couldn’t the horse play cards in the barn?
Because he was always a little hoarse after yelling “neigh”!
7. What did the jockey say to the broken-down horse?
“Quit horsing around!”
8. Why did the horse go to school?
To become a “stable” genius.
9. Why did the jockey wear a helmet?
In case he fell off his high horse!
10. What do you call a horse that likes to keep things tidy?
Neigh-tidy.
Galloping Giggles: Funny Horse Race Jokes that Will Have You Racing for the Punchline
1. Why did the horse go to the bar?
He wanted to have a few “neigh”-ghtcaps.
2. What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A neigh-bor!
3. Why was the horse really good at math?
He always knew when to carry the one.
4. What did the jockey say to the horse that won by a nose?
“Well done, you’re head and shoulders above the rest!”
5. Why don’t horses use Tinder?
Because they can’t find a stable relationship.
6. Why did the jockey wear a raincoat to the race?
He heard the forecast was calling for “neigh”!
7. What did one racehorse say to the other?
Stop foaling around!
8. Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the neigh-borhood.
9. What do you call a horse that likes to watch horror movies?
Nightmare.
10. Why did the horse break up with his girlfriend?
He found out she was a little “neigh”-gative.
Bridling Your Laughter: The Best Horse Race Jokes to Have You Lapping up the Laughs
1. Why don’t horses ever win at hide and seek?
Because they’re always a little hoarse!
2. What did the jockey say to the underperforming horse?
“You’re a little behind!”
3. Why couldn’t the horse become a detective?
He couldn’t find a stable job.
4. What do you get when you cross a jockey and a vampire?
A night mare.
5. Why did the horse go to the doctor?
He was feeling a little “neigh”glected.
6. Why was the horse a terrible musician?
He had a lot of treble finding the right key.
7. What do you call a horse that likes to watch sports?
A mane spectator.
8. Why did the horse join the debate team?
He had a lot of neigh-sayers to argue with.
9. What’s a horse’s favorite type of dance?
The pony trot.
10. Why did the jockey bring a ladder to the race?
In case he needed to get off his high horse.