In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best history jokes, history puns and history dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Hilarious History Jokes to Make You Laugh Through the Ages
1. Why did the archaeologist go bankrupt? Because his career was in ruins!
2. How did the Vikings send secret messages? Norse code!
3. Why did the teacher go to the beach in the Middle Ages? To test the waters!
4. What did one Egyptian say to the other when they stayed up too late studying? You sphinx we should call it a night!
5. Why did the math book look sad? Because too many problems!
6. What did the historian say when he found out he was old? “I am now history!”
7. Why was the history teacher always calm? Because he had a lot of patients!
8. What did the historian say at the end of 2020? “Well, that was a year of great historical significance!”
9. Why did the teacher bring an extra pen to the history exam? In case there was a re-write!
10. Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons? He wanted to draw his own conclusions!
2. Top 10 Funniest Historical Puns That Will Have You Rolling
1. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!
2. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
3. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
4. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
5. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
6. How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste!
7. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
8. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers!
9. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
10. Why can’t you trust stairs? Because they are always up to something!
3. Laugh Out Loud with These Side-Splitting History Jokes
1. Why did the French chef commit suicide? He lost the huile d’olive!
2. How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast? He had killer hooks!
3. What type of music did the Pilgrims like? Plymouth Rock!
4. Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!
5. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
6. Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field!
7. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room!
8. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they always use honeycombs!
9. How did the barber win the race? He knew a short cut!
10. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange!
4. Unforgettable Historical One-Liners That Will Crack You Up
1. I’m reading a book on the history of glue – can’t put it down!
2. Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they kept saying “Bach, Bach, Bach!”
3. I broke my history teacher’s favorite pen. I didn’t mean to, it just kind of happened in the heat of the moment!
4. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
5. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
6. Archaeologists make great dates – they know how to dig up the past.
7. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
8. Old mathematicians never die, they just lose some of their functions.
9. I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
10. I used to be a baker who raced motorcycles but I was so fast I made a lot of dough.