Top Height Jokes, Height Puns, Height Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best height jokes, height puns and height dad jokes to make you laugh.

1. Hilarious Height Jokes to Make You Laugh Out Loud

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field… just like tall people!
2. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around. Just like how short people have to do things!
3. I asked my tall friend how the weather was up there. He said, “I don’t know, I can’t see past the clouds!”
4. Why did the short mathematician break up with the tall statistician? They just didn’t add up!
5. Why don’t short people ever play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding behind anything!
6. I told my friend I could reach the top shelf without a stool. He said, “That’s a tall order!”
7. Why did the short comedian make terrible jokes? He couldn’t stand up tall in front of the audience!
8. I once dated a tall guy, but it didn’t work out. I just couldn’t stand to look up to him all the time!
9. Why do tall people make good basketball players? They can really reach new heights on the court!
10. I tried to stand next to my tall friend for a photo, but he said, “You’re not even in the picture!”

2. Tall and Short Funny Jokes That Will Tickle Your Funny Bone

1. I asked my short friend to grab something from the top shelf. He said, “I can’t, I’m vertically challenged!”
2. Why did the tall person go broke? Because they couldn’t get a loan unless they had collateral!
3. Did you hear about the short comedian who killed it on stage? He really knew how to stand out in a crowd!
4. Why do short people always look sharp? Because they never have a dull moment!
5. My tall friend said he felt like a giant. I told him, “Well, don’t let it go to your head!”
6. Why don’t tall people ever get lost? Because they always stand head and shoulders above the rest!
7. Why did the short person become a chef? Because they wanted to make small, but mighty, meals!
8. I went on a double date with a tall couple. It was awkward… I just couldn’t measure up!
9. What do you call a group of tall people? A high society!
10. Why did the short person get a job at the bakery? They were always making half-baked jokes!

3. Top 10 Height Jokes That Will Have You Rolling on the Floor

1. Why did the short person refuse to go to the concert? They didn’t want to be stuck in the pit!
2. Why did the tall person always win at limbo? They always knew how to raise the bar!
3. Why did the short person always carry a ladder? To reach new heights, of course!
4. Why do tall people make great detectives? They always have a bird’s eye view of the situation!
5. Why did the short person become a private investigator? They were good at keeping a low profile!
6. Why did the tall person become a pilot? They always had their head in the clouds!
7. Why did the short person start a band? They wanted to hit the low notes!
8. Why did the tall person become a firefighter? They could always reach the top floor in a blaze!
9. Why did the short person become a gymnast? They knew how to flip expectations on their head!
10. Why did the tall person become a basketball referee? They always called the shots from above!

4. Laugh Your Way Through These Side-Splitting Height Jokes

1. Why did the short person start a dance crew? They wanted to get down, even if it meant going low!
2. Why did the tall person become a skydiver? They always had a head for heights!
3. Why did the short person join the circus? They wanted to be the center of attention… even if they had to stand on stilts!
4. Why did the tall person become a mountain climber? They always had their sights set high!
5. Why did the short person join the navy? They wanted to sail the high seas… even if they had to stand on crates!
6. Why did the tall person become a basketball coach? They knew how to raise the bar for their team!
7. Why did the short person become an actor? They wanted to stand out on stage, even if they had to stand on a platform!
8. Why did the tall person become a model? They knew how to tower above the competition!
9. Why did the short person become a jockey? They always knew how to ride low in the saddle!
10. Why did the tall person become a tree trimmer? They always knew how to branch out in their career!

5. The Funniest Height Jokes That Will Leave You in Stitches

1. Why did the short person become a wrestler? They couldn’t stand being overlooked in the ring!
2. Why did the tall person become a flight attendant? They always knew how to soar to new heights!
3. Why did the short person become a rock climber? They always knew how to scale obstacles, even if they had to start from the bottom!
4. Why did the tall person become a ladder salesman? They really knew how to step up their game!
5. Why did the short person become a cowboy? They wanted to wrangle up some fun, even if they had to stand on a box!
6. Why did the tall person become a painter? They always knew how to brighten up a room… even if they had to stand on a scaffold!
7. Why did the short person become a gymnastics coach? They really knew how to flip the script on their career!
8. Why did the tall person become a skywriter? They always knew how to leave their mark in the clouds!
9. Why did the short person become a race car driver? They really knew how to hit the ground running, even if they had to stand on the pedals!
10. Why did the tall person become a horoscope writer? They really knew how to reach for the stars, even if they had a long way to go!