In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best harry potter jokes, harry potter puns and harry potter dad jokes to make you laugh.
Wand-erfully Funny: The Top Harry Potter Jokes to Make Any Fan Laugh
1. Why did Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road? So you’ll never know which side he’s on.
2. How does Harry Potter get rid of a rash? With quit-itch.
3. What do you call a Hufflepuff who is a failure at Potions class? A dumble-dork.
4. Why was Sirius Black such a good singer? He had a howling good voice.
5. What do you call a wizard who is always getting lost? Dumbledore-dore.
6. Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking? Because it was making him Moody.
7. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a wizard? Frostbite.
8. Why do Slytherins make excellent musicians? They have great hiss-teries.
9. Why doesn’t Voldemort use Twitter? Because he can only have followers, no friends.
10. Why was Luna Lovegood so good at finding lost items? She could always think outside the box.
Accio Laughs: Hilarious Harry Potter Jokes That Will Cast a Spell on You
1. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two tired.
2. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
3. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
4. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
5. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
6. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
7. Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? It lost its bearings.
8. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
9. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
10. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
Muggle-Worthy Humor: The Best Harry Potter Jokes for Wizards and Witches Alike
1. Why did the wizard break up with his girlfriend? She was two-faced.
2. How do Death Eaters freshen their breath? With Dumble-mint.
3. Why did the Boggart become a teacher? He heard it was a class full of shapeshifters.
4. What spell do you use to fix a broken website? Repairo-click.
5. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
6. Why did the wizard get a job at the bank? He heard they had a lot of interest.
7. What do you call a pile of books? A shelfie.
8. Why was the broom late to the Quidditch game? It overswept.
9. Why don’t witches play basketball? They can’t handle the broom.
10. Why did the Slytherin bring a ladder to the library? Because he heard the books were high-class.
Laughing Like a Weasley: Funny Harry Potter Jokes to Brighten Your Day
1. Why was the Potion Master bad at jokes? Because he always left them in stitches.
2. How do you know if someone is a true Harry Potter fan? They’re always waving wands around.
3. Why did Ron Weasley miss the train to Hogwarts? He overslept.
4. What did Harry Potter do when he didn’t understand something? He asked Hermione to spell it out for him.
5. Why did Professor McGonagall tell Hagrid to pay attention? Because he was always off his game.
6. Why did Draco Malfoy get a job at the pet store? He heard the customers were snakey.
7. What do you call a wizard who is always cold? A shiverus.
8. Why did the Sorting Hat go to therapy? It had too many identity issues.
9. Why did Harry Potter get a job at the bakery? He heard they were looking for someone with a lot of dough.
10. Why was Moaning Myrtle so good at hide and seek? Because she always had a “ghostly” advantage.
Slytherin to Laughter: The Most Hilarious Harry Potter Jokes for Every Hogwarts House
1. Why do Gryffindors always carry a map? In case they get lost in their own bravery.
2. How does a Ravenclaw keep their thoughts organized? They write them down in their Wit-it book.
3. Why do Hufflepuffs make great detectives? They always find the clues in the Huffle-promise.
4. What food do Slytherins always bring to a party? Snake and bake.
5. Why do Gryffindors prefer to duel in the morning? Because the early Gryffindor gets the worm.
6. How do Ravenclaws stay in shape? They exercise their minds at the brain gym.
7. Why do Hufflepuffs excel at Herbology? They have a green thumb and a kind heart.
8. What do Slytherins do on weekends? They hiss-take adventures in the Forbidden Forest.
9. Why do Ravenclaws love puzzles? They’re always Raven-solving them.
10. How do Hufflepuffs make tea? With Hufflepuff the magic.