Top Handyman Jokes, Handyman Puns, Handyman Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best handyman jokes, handyman puns and handyman dad jokes to make you laugh.

Nail the Humor: Hilarious Jokes Every Handyman Will Appreciate

1. Why did the handyman go to therapy? He had too many issues!
2. How did the handyman get locked out of his house? He lost his keys-saw!
3. Why did the hammer break up with the screwdriver? They had way too many arguments.
4. What did the carpenter say to the annoying customer? “You’re really hammering my nerves.”
5. Why did the handyman always carry a pencil? In case he needed to draw some screws.
6. Why did the screw refuse to cooperate? It had a screw loose!
7. How does a handyman make sure his jokes are funny? He nails the punchline!
8. What did the countertop say to the handyman? “You really nailed it!”
9. Why was the handyman always calm during emergencies? Because he knew how to handle things.
10. How does a handyman stay in shape? He does a lot of heavy lifting!

Screw it Up: Laugh-Out-Loud Funny Jokes About Handymen

1. Why did the handyman become a comedian? He nailed the jokes every time!
2. How did the handyman know the wall was telling lies? It was plastered all over!
3. Why did the screwdriver refuse to go to the party? It had too many screws loose!
4. What did the hammer say to the nail? “You really nailed it!”
5. Why did the handyman bring a ladder to the comedy show? He wanted to reach new heights of humor!
6. How did the handyman fix his broken heart? With a lot of elbow grease!
7. Why did the handyman refuse to play hide and seek? Because good hiding spots are hard to find!
8. What did the handyman do when he couldn’t find his tools? He nailed it without them!
9. Why did the handyman always carry a level with him? He liked to keep things on the level.
10. How did the handyman feel when he finally finished the job? He was bolt-over with happiness!

Tool Time Laughs: The Top Handyman Jokes to Brighten Your Day

1. Why did the handyman bring a pencil to the job? To make sure his work was on point!
2. How did the hammer know it was in trouble? It saw the saw coming!
3. Why did the handyman refuse to share his tools? He didn’t want to screw things up!
4. What did the carpenter say to the door when it wouldn’t open? “You’re really pushing my buttons!”
5. How did the handyman fix his broken watch? With some timely repairs!
6. Why did the screwdriver refuse to work overtime? It needed time to recharge!
7. What did the hammer say to the drill? “You really drive me nuts!”
8. Why did the handyman always carry a measuring tape? To make sure he never came up short!
9. How did the handyman become a comedian on the side? He had a knack for hammering out jokes!
10. Why did the handyman get into comedy? He saw the humor in every situation!

Carpenter Comedy: Funny Jokes That Will Nail It with Handymen

1. How did the handyman know he was cut out for the job? He saw a sign!
2. Why did the screwdriver refuse to make plans for the future? It couldn’t see past the present!
3. What did the carpenter say to the drill that wouldn’t stop talking? “You really bore me!”
4. Why did the handyman bring a level to the dance? He wanted to make sure he had good balance!
5. How did the hammer feel when it was no longer useful? It was feeling pretty hammered!
6. Why did the nail refuse to cooperate with the hammer? It had too many high expectations!
7. What did the handyman say to the broken cabinet? “Don’t worry, I’ve got the tools to fix you up!”
8. Why did the hammer feel like it was always hitting a wall? It couldn’t get through to anyone!
9. How does a handyman stay sharp? By keeping his tools in tip-top shape!
10. Why did the saw go to therapy? It had a lot of pent-up aggression!

Drill into Laughter: Side-Splitting Jokes for DIY Enthusiasts

1. Why did the handyman always carry a flashlight? In case things got a little dim!
2. How did the screwdriver know it was the star of the show? It always stole the spotlight!
3. What did the carpenter say to the noisy power drill? “You really make a lot of noise!”
4. Why did the handyman refuse to take the day off? He couldn’t bear to be board!
5. How did the hammer know it had made a good impression? It left a mark!
6. Why did the nail always play it cool? It didn’t want to be hammered down!
7. What did the handyman say to the leaky faucet? “You’re really dripping with problems!”
8. Why did the hammer go to therapy? It had a lot of unresolved issues!
9. How did the handyman feel when he finished the job early? He was really screwing around!
10. Why did the saw have trouble making friends? It was always cutting ties!