Top Grass Jokes, Grass Puns, Grass Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best grass jokes, grass puns and grass dad jokes to make you laugh.

Grass Jokes That Will Have You Rolling on the Lawn

1. Why did the grass go to the doctor? It was feeling a bit green.
2. What do you call a fake piece of grass? A faux lawn.
3. Why was the grass always happy? It had a sunny disposition.
4. How does grass greet each other? Hey, turf friend!
5. What did the grass say to the gardener? Don’t mow me down!
6. Why was the grass such an expert at gardening? It had a lot of root knowledge.
7. What’s a lawnmower’s favorite music genre? Grassical music.
8. How do you make grass more interesting? Add a little lawn-dry humor.
9. Why did the grass blush? It saw the dandelions flirting.
10. What’s the best day for grass? Satur-day!

Funny Grass Puns to Brighten Your Day

1. What do you call a group of school children playing in the grass? The real “lawn”mowers.
2. Why are grasshoppers such good comedians? They know all the best grass jokes!
3. What’s a lawn’s favorite type of math? Grassometry.
4. Why did the grass break up with the soil? It was fed up with being walked all over.
5. How do you know the grass is having a party? It can’t keep its blades off the dance floor.
6. What’s a lawnmower’s favorite snack? Grass chips!
7. Why was the grass always the life of the party? It knew how to “root” for everyone.
8. How do grasses communicate? Through grass-roots efforts.
9. Why did the grasshopper go to the doctor? It was feeling a bit hoppy.
10. What did one blade of grass say to another during an argument? Let’s lawn this over.

Laugh Out Loud with These Hilarious Grass Jokes

1. Why did the grasshopper bring a towel to the party? To dry off the dew!
2. What do you call grass that’s scared? Pan-turf.
3. How do you fix a broken lawnmower? With grass-roots efforts.
4. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
5. Why do cows make terrible gardeners? Because they always mow the lawn too close!
6. Why do lawns make terrible detectives? They always have a grassy knoll to hide behind.
7. What’s a grass’s favorite game? Hide and seed.
8. Why did the grasshopper get a job at the factory? It heard they had grass-roots job positions.
9. What’s a grass’s favorite part of a song? The blades.
10. Why don’t grasses ever go to jail? They’re always on the straight and narrow.

Grass Jokes that Will Make You the Life of the Party

1. Why was the grass always the center of attention? It knew how to make a blade entrance.
2. What’s a grass’s favorite TV show? Law and Order: Sod Unit.
3. How do grasses stay cool in the summer? They just take a little off the top.
4. Why did the grasshopper start a band? It wanted to hop on the latest grassy tunes.
5. What did the grasshopper say to the ant? Let’s be friends, we can make amends.
6. Why did the grasshopper win the dance competition? It had all the grassy moves.
7. What’s a grasshopper’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop!
8. Why did the grass call the police? It was being “totally mowed” over.
9. What do you call a shady patch of grass? A lawn under a linden tree.
10. Why did the grass throw a party in the lawn? It wanted to celebrate its roots.

The Best Grass Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Chuckle

1. What did the grass say to the neighborhood cat? “Paws off, I’m grass-fed.”
2. Why was the grass always so calm? It had a lot of “peace”-ces of mind.
3. How does grass keep in touch? Through blade runner-ups.
4. Why did the grass give up on its acting career? It couldn’t handle all the “cutting” remarks.
5. What’s a grass’s favorite type of movie? A lawn and order film.
6. Why do grasses make terrible comedians? They always end up getting “cut off.”
7. What’s a grass’s favorite kind of workout? A little lawn-aerobics.
8. What do you call a grasshopper who never settles down? A “hop”-tional husband.
9. Why did the grass cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken.
10. What did the mama grass say to her child before school? “Blade it cool, honey.”