In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best gambling jokes, gambling puns and gambling dad jokes to make you laugh.
Roll the Dice: The funniest gambling jokes to lighten up your day
1. Why did the poker player go to the ATM? He needed to make a withdrawl.
2. How do you get a professional poker player off your front porch? Pay him for the pizza.
3. Why don’t gambling addicts play the lottery? They already have a problem with the odds.
4. What do you call a group of chess masters bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
5. Why did the card player go to the doctor? He had a bad case of flush.
6. What did the dealer say to the deck of cards at the casino? “I can’t deal with you anymore, you’re just too much to shuffle!”
7. Why was the math book sad when it went to the casino? It had too many problems.
8. How do you get a professional poker player to fold? You tell him to stop playing with his chips.
9. What’s a gambler’s favorite type of music? Rhythm and blues.
10. Why don’t fish play poker in the casino? Because they’re scared of the net losses.
Jackpot of Laughs: Hilarious casino jokes that will make you smile
1. What did the dealer say to the deck of cards when they kept losing? “Quit playing the blame game!”
2. How do you spot a poker player at a party? Don’t worry, they’ll let you know.
3. Why did the blackjack dealer go broke? He lost track of the cards.
4. What’s the difference between poker players and politicans? At least poker players have rules.
5. Why don’t poker players get lost in the desert? They know how to follow the flush.
6. What did the dice say to the gambler throwing them? “Pick me, choose me, roll me!”
7. Why do gamblers make terrible comedians? They always have a tell.
8. What do you call a group of old ladies playing slots at the casino? The one-armed bandit band.
9. Why did the card player cross the road? To get to the other side of the blackjack table.
10. What do you call a group of ghosts gambling in Vegas? Phantom of the casino.
Bet on Laughter: The top gambling jokes that will have you in stitches
1. Why don’t ghosts like to gamble? They can’t handle the high spirits.
2. How do you catch a gambling dog? You bet him.
3. Why was the deck of cards always late? It always had to shuffle to get there.
4. What’s a gambler’s favorite type of gardening? Poker plants.
5. Why did the poker player go to the doctor? He had a bad hand.
6. What do you call a gambling addict who’s been arrested for fraud? A con-artist.
7. Why did the card player order a second drink at the casino? He needed to raise the stakes.
8. What do you call a group of casino workers discussing their tips? Roulette table talk.
9. Why did the math book go to the casino bar? It needed some liquid courage.
10. What do you call a poker player who goes broke? All in trouble.
All In on Funny: Laugh out loud with the best jokes about betting and gambling
1. Why don’t gamblers ever get fake tans? Because they can’t stand a streak of bad luck.
2. How do you make a small fortune at the casino? Start with a large fortune.
3. Why was the casino so loud? It had too many slot machines making noise.
4. What’s a sports bettor’s favorite type of cereal? Lucky Charms.
5. Why did the blackjack player break up with his deck of cards? It was dealing him a bad hand.
6. What did the dealer say to the cards at the poker game? “I’ll shuffle you up if you don’t behave!”
7. Why do magicians make terrible gamblers? They never know when to fold.
8. What do you call a group of cats gambling at the casino? The meowjack table.
9. Why did the poker player wear sunglasses at the casino? To hide his poker face.
10. What did the chip say to the gambler? “You bet your bottom dollar!”
Winning Hand: The most amusing jokes about casinos and gambling for a good chuckle
1. Why don’t ghosts play poker in the casino? They can never keep a straight face.
2. What did the dice say to the gambler throwing them? “Roll with it!”
3. How do you win at poker with a deck of cards that’s missing a few? You bluff.
4. Why did the card player break up with his deck of cards? It couldn’t deal with his shuffling.
5. What’s a blackjack player’s favorite type of bread? Cardamom rolls.
6. Why don’t bartenders like serving drinks to casino gamblers? They always want a double down.
7. What do you call a group of criminals playing poker in jail? The cell block casino.
8. Why did the poker player bring a suitcase to the casino? He heard there was going to be a full house.
9. What do you call a card game played in the sewer? Flush the toilet.
10. Why did the gambler go to the doctor? He was feeling a little under the odds.