In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best fortune teller jokes, fortune teller puns and fortune teller dad jokes to make you laugh.
Laugh Out Loud with these Hilarious Fortune Teller Jokes
1. Why did the fortune teller bring a pencil to work? To draw her own conclusions.
2. What do you call a fortune teller who can’t see into the future? A now-sayer.
3. Why did the fortune teller open a bakery? She saw a lot of dough in her future.
4. How does a fortune teller greet people on Halloween? “I see a spooky future ahead for you!”
5. What did the fortune teller say to the cat who walked in? “You’ve got a purr-dictable future ahead of you.”
6. Did you hear about the fortune teller who was constipated? She couldn’t see her end coming.
7. Why was the fortune teller always calm during readings? She had a crystal clear ball.
8. Why did the fortune teller bring a ladder to work? To climb the ladder of success.
9. How does a fortune teller know what’s cooking? She reads the tea leaves.
10. What did the psychic say to the angry client? “I foresee a nap in your near future.”
Fortune Teller Puns that Will Predict a Good Laugh
1. Why did the fortune teller break up with her boyfriend? He couldn’t see eye-to-eye with her.
2. How do you make a fortune teller laugh? Tell her a gypsy joke – she’ll soon see the funny side!
3. Why did the fortune teller go to the bank? She sensed a windfall coming her way.
4. What type of underwear do fortune tellers prefer? Crystal-ball briefs.
5. Why was the fortune teller always excited to go to work? She had a sixth sense of humor.
6. Why did the fortune teller bring a map to work? To show her clients the way to their future.
7. Why did the fortune teller start a garden? She wanted to cultivate her psychic abilities.
8. How do fortune tellers navigate the internet? They use their web of predictions.
9. Why did the fortune teller refuse to play cards? She never wanted to deal with the future.
10. Why did the fortune teller practice yoga? To improve her crystal ball-ance.
Funny Predictions: The Best Fortune Teller Jokes of All Time
1. What did the fortune teller say to the sushi chef? “I predict a raw deal in your future.”
2. Why did the fortune teller go to the beach? To read the sands of time.
3. Why did the fortune teller refuse to watch horror movies? She didn’t want to see any future screams.
4. How does a fortune teller know when it’s time to retire? When she can’t see herself working anymore.
5. What did the fortune teller say to the procrastinator? “I predict you’ll leave this reading until later.”
6. Why did the fortune teller start a perfume line? She had a great sense of smell-foretelling.
7. Why did the fortune teller go to the museum? She wanted to see the artifacts of the future.
8. How did the fortune teller get a job at the bakery? She saw it kneaded in her future.
9. Why did the fortune teller become a DJ? She wanted to spin a positive future for her clients.
10. What did the fortune teller say to the customer who wanted a discount? “I see a coupon in your future – but no guarantees it’ll work!”
Jokes that Will Tell Your Fortune (and Make You Giggle)
1. Why did the fortune teller become a weather forecaster? She wanted to predict a sunny future for everyone.
2. How does a fortune teller stay in shape? She’s always seeing a future with lots of exercise.
3. What did the fortune teller say to the ghost? “I see a fleeting future ahead of you.”
4. Why did the fortune teller become a motivational speaker? She had a crystal clear vision of success.
5. How does a fortune teller know it’s time for lunch? She reads her hunger pangs.
6. What did the fortune teller say to the comedian? “I predict a joke-filled future for you.”
7. Why did the fortune teller start a book club? She had a novel way of predicting the future.
8. How does a fortune teller know when it’s time for bed? She sees sleep in her future.
9. Why did the fortune teller take up painting? She wanted to see a colorful future for herself.
10. What did the fortune teller say to the procrastinating client? “I predict you’ll eventually catch up on your to-do list.”
The Future Looks Funny: Top Fortune Teller Jokes to Brighten Your Day
1. Why did the fortune teller start a comedy club? She always saw laughter in her future.
2. How does a fortune teller know when it’s time for a vacation? When she sees herself on a beach in her crystal ball.
3. What did the fortune teller say to the skeptic? “I predict you’ll come around to believing in me.”
4. Why did the fortune teller become a gardener? She had a green thumb when it came to predicting plant growth.
5. How does a fortune teller know when it’s time to clean her office? When she sees a tidy future.
6. What did the fortune teller say to the time traveler? “I predict you’ll have a blast moving forward.”
7. Why did the fortune teller start a shoe line? She predicted it would be a step in the right direction.
8. How does a fortune teller predict what’s for dinner? She reads the menu.
9. Why did the fortune teller become a stand-up comedian? She had a knack for seeing the punchline before it arrived.
10. What did the fortune teller say to the magician? “I see a trick up your sleeve – and a laugh in your future.”