In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best flu jokes, flu puns and flu dad jokes to make you laugh.
Feeling Down with the Flu? These Flu Jokes Will Cheer You Up!
1. Why did the flu go to school?
To get a little something to help it feel better – a “shot” of medicine!
2. What’s a flu’s favorite board game?
Sniffles and Ladders!
3. How do you know if someone has the flu?
They start making “achoo-sical” jokes!
4. Did you hear about the sick comedian?
He had a really bad case of the pun-flu!
5. What do you call a sick bird?
A tweetment!
6. Why was the computer cold?
It left its Windows open!
7. What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemon-aid!
8. I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places.
He told me to stop going to those places!
9. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired!
10. How do you organize a space party?
You planet!
Hilarious Flu Jokes to Share with Your Sick Friends
1. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
2. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
3. How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut!
4. How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
5. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
6. What did one plate say to the other plate?
Dinner is on me!
7. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them!
8. How do you catch a bra?
With a booby trap!
9. What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner!
10. Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems!
Laughing Through the Flu: The Funniest Jokes About Being Sick
1. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose!
2. What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats!
3. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese!
4. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted!
5. Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged!
6. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
7. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
8. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
9. What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music!
10. How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it!
From Fever to Funny: The Best Flu Jokes to Brighten Your Day
1. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
2. Parallel lines have so much in common.
It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
3. How does Moses make his tea?
Hebrews it!
4. I would tell you a joke about an elevator…
But it’s an uplifting experience!
5. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
6. The rotation of earth really makes my day!
7. Want to hear a joke about construction?
I’m still working on it!
8. I used to play piano by ear.
Now I use my hands!
9. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down!
10. How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
Get Well Soon with These Side-Splitting Flu Jokes
1. Why did the math book look sad?
It had too many problems!
2. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them!
3. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
4. What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner!
5. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
6. How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it!
7. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
8. What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music!
9. Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged!
10. What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats!