In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best famous jokes, famous puns and famous dad jokes to make you laugh.
Hilarious and Classic Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
1. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
2. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
3. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
4. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
5. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
6. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
7. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
8. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
9. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
10. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
Top Funniest Jokes from Famous Comedians
1. “I told my wife the truth, I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.” – Rodney Dangerfield
2. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” – Dalai Lama
3. “I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.” – Steven Wright
4. “The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning, you’re on the job.” – Slappy White
5. “I married my wife for her looks… but not the ones she’s been giving me lately!” – Anonymous
6. “I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather… Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.” – Bob Monkhouse
7. “I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.” – Rodney Dangerfield
8. “A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don’t want to go through menopause again.” – Joanna Cismaru
9. “I asked the corporate wellness officer, ‘Can you teach me yoga?’ She said, ‘I can’t teach you yoga, but I can teach you how to clean up your desk.’” – Russell Peters
10. “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.” – Ellen DeGeneres
Laugh Out Loud with These Timeless Jokes That Never Get Old
1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
2. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
3. I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
4. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
5. I told my wife she should do leg lifts. Now, she’s mad at me and doesn’t talk to me.
6. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
7. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
8. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
9. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
10. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
The Ultimate List of Side-Splitting Jokes That Will Brighten Your Day
1. What do you call a fish wearing a crown? An anemone.
2. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
3. I would tell you a joke about a pencil, but it’s pointless.
4. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
5. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
6. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
7. Why did the crab never share? Because he was a little shellfish.
8. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
9. Did you hear about the helium shortage? He just couldn’t keep it bottled up any longer.
10. I used to have a job collecting leaves. I was raking it in.
Unforgettable Jokes That Will Have You Rolling on the Floor with Laughter
1. “I like rice. Rice is great when you’re hungry and you want 2,000 of something.” – Mitch Hedberg
2. “I once asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you!’” – Steven Wright
3. “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” – Noel Coward
4. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” – Steven Wright
5. “I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.” – Rodney Dangerfield
6. “Why do we never tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, and the corn has ears!” – Anonymous
7. “If I have helped just one person, then my work here is done. Because I’m not doing any more.” – Anonymous
8. “Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
9. “Things just never seem to go my way. Today, when it came down around me, I was the only one holding an umbrella. And guess what? It wasn’t even raining!” – Lee Trevino
10. “I once prayed to God for a bike, but quickly found out He didn’t work that way… so I stole a bike and prayed for His forgiveness.” – Emo Philips