In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best facial hair jokes, facial hair puns and facial hair dad jokes to make you laugh.
The Funniest Facial Hair Jokes That Will Have You in Stitches
1. Why did the man with a beard go to the barber? He wanted to get a little off the top… of his chin.
2. What kind of bees make milk? Boobies!
3. How does a barber cut the moon’s hair? Eclipse it.
4. Why did the mustache apply for a job at the zoo? It wanted to be a part of the beard exhibit.
5. What do you call a baby with a mustache? A mustache-tion.
6. I used to have a fear of facial hair, but then I grew a pair of balls-tache.
7. Why did the lumberjack have trouble shaving? He couldn’t handle the shear hilarity.
8. What do you call a goat with a mustache? A goatee.
9. Why was the mustache sad? It just couldn’t handle the bristle of life.
10. I told my beard a joke, but it couldn’t stop laughing… it’s a real chin-scratcher.
Hilarious One-Liners About Beards and Mustaches
1. I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.
2. Beard: A stylish accessory that also keeps your face warm… or so I’ve been told.
3. You know you’re getting old when your barber starts charging you by the follicle.
4. My beard may not be as majestic as a lion’s mane, but at least I don’t have to eat raw meat to keep it looking good.
5. I asked my beard for relationship advice, but it told me to just ‘grow on’ and ‘hang in there’.
6. I used to be clean-shaven, but then I realized I was just a razor away from being a wizard.
7. A beard doesn’t make a man, but it sure does help distinguish between the boys and the men.
8. My beard might be scratchy, but it’s a small price to pay for looking this good.
9. Growing a beard is like a DIY project for your face… if you’re into projects that take months to complete.
10. My beard may be wild and free, but it sure knows how to clean up nicely for a job interview.
Laugh Out Loud Funny Stories About Facial Hair Mishaps
1. My friend once tried to dye his beard, but ended up looking like a walking traffic light.
2. I accidentally shaved off half of my mustache before a big date… needless to say, it didn’t go well.
3. My uncle’s mustache once caught on fire while he was trying to light a birthday candle… talk about a hot upper lip.
4. I once sneezed while trimming my beard and ended up with a ‘reverse goatee’… needless to say, I didn’t leave the house for a week.
5. My grandpa once mistook super glue for beard balm and ended up with a beard that could withstand a tornado.
6. My dad once tried to trim his own beard and ended up looking like a Picasso painting… let’s just say he’s banned from using scissors now.
7. I once got gum stuck in my beard and had to cut a chunk out… now I have a ‘gum-free zone’ on my chin.
8. My roommate once tried to wax his mustache and ended up looking like a plucked chicken… it was hard to keep a straight face.
9. My brother once accidentally shaved off one of his eyebrows while trying to shape his beard… he had to draw it back on with a sharpie.
10. I once fell asleep with a face mask on and woke up with a beard full of clay… needless to say, I had a ‘muddy’ morning.
Top 10 Beard and Mustache Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Giggle
1. Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
2. What did the barber say to the man with the unruly mustache? “Let’s ‘stache’ this problem out.”
3. How do you know when a mustache is lying? When it starts ‘hair-splitting’ the truth.
4. Why did the beard go to the party alone? It couldn’t find a ‘suitable’ mustache to bring along.
5. What do you call a fake mustache? An “im-poster.”
6. Why did the beard break up with the mustache? It couldn’t handle the ‘split ends’ in their relationship.
7. What did the mustache say to the mirror? “I ‘mustache’ you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.”
8. How did the barber find out the man lying about having a beard? He saw right through his ‘follicle’ of lies.
9. What do you call a mustache that has a crush on another mustache? Fuzz buddies.
10. Why did the beard start a band? It had a ‘hairy’ good voice that needed to be heard.
The Ultimate Collection of Facial Hair Humor to Brighten Your Day
1. A beard is like a potato chip… you can’t have just one.
2. I once tried to braid my beard, but ended up with a tangled mess… guess I’m not cut out for ‘beard’ing fashion trends.
3. I asked my beard to pick a Halloween costume, but it just ‘shaved’ the usual… it’s a real ‘hair-raiser’.
4. My beard once got mistaken for a stray cat… needless to say, the cat wasn’t pleased with the comparison.
5. I told my beard to take a ‘leap of faith’ and try a new style, but it just couldn’t ‘face’ the change.
6. My beard once saved me from a mosquito bite on my chin… who knew facial hair could be so heroic?
7. I tried to buy my beard a gift for its birthday, but it just wanted some ‘thyme’ to itself… it’s a real ‘salt-and-pepper’ relationship.
8. My beard once tried to audition for a singing competition, but it got disqualified for having too much ‘chin-tensity’.
9. I once tried to straighten my beard with a flat iron, but ended up looking like a ‘curled’ up mess.
10. My beard once got tangled in a ceiling fan and created a ‘hair-raising’ situation… needless to say, I invested in some beard oil after that.