In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best element jokes, element puns and element dad jokes to make you laugh.
Elemental Laughter: The Top 10 Hilarious Jokes About the Periodic Table
1. Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just couldn’t put it down!
2. Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon.
3. I told a joke about potassium, but K.
4. I tried to tell a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
5. Why do chemists like nitrates so much? Because they’re cheaper than day rates.
6. Silver and Gold walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, “A U, get out of here!”
7. What did the scientist say when they found two isotopes of helium? HeHe.
8. Sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, BATMAN!
9. I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
10. Did you hear about the chemist who was accused of a crime? They bonded him to everything, even the kitchen sink.
Earth, Wind, and Fire: The Funniest Element Jokes That Will Have You Laughing
1. What’s a chemist’s favorite type of tree? A chemistree!
2. Why was the ion angry after losing an electron? Because it had no charge.
3. What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium.
4. Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” Helium doesn’t react.
5. Two atoms are walking down the street. One says, “I think I lost an electron.” The other asks, “Are you positive?”
6. Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar.
7. Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates.
8. The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with water and half with air.
9. What do you call an educated tube? An graduated cylinder.
10. How did the chemist survive the famine? By subsisting on a diet of moles.
Chemistry Catastrophes: The Most Side-Splitting Element Puns Ever Told
1. Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates.
2. Why can’t you trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
3. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
4. Oxygen and magnesium went on a date. I heard it was “OMG!”
5. Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. I heard they bonded well.
6. What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.
7. Why did the acid go to the gym? To become a buffer solution.
8. What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.
9. What element do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare spray.
10. How did the physicist win the goodbyes competition? He just gave a good wave!
Atomic Hilarity: Laugh-Out-Loud Element Jokes That Will Make Your Day
1. Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.
2. Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar? He got Avogadro’s number!
3. What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car? He was booked for a salt and battery.
4. Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar.
5. Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.
6. I would tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.
7. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
8. I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
9. What did one ion say to the other? “I’ve got my ion you.”
10. Why are chemists excellent at solving problems? Because they have all the solutions.
Molecular Mockery: The Best Element Jokes That Will Leave You Rolling on the Floor Laughing
1. What did the biologist wear to impress the chemist? Designer genes.
2. Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
3. How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado’s number.
4. How did carbon propose to hydrogen? With a carbon bond.
5. Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates.
6. A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs help with his luggage. He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”
7. Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says, “I’ll have some H2O.” The second one says, “I’ll have some H2O too.” The second one dies.
8. Helium walks into a bar, the bar tender says “We don’t serve noble gasses in here.” He doesn’t react.
9. What did the bartender do when oxygen and potassium went on a date? OK.
10. What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.