In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best drunk jokes, drunk puns and drunk dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Hilarious Drunk Jokes to Keep the Party Going
1. Why did the beer go to the party alone? Because it didn’t want to be too hops-tentious.
2. I only drink on days that end in “Y.” Yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
3. What do you call a dinosaur who drinks too much? Tyrannosaurus Drunk.
4. I only drink on days that end in “Y.” Yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
5. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two tired… from drinking.
6. What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear… after one too many shots.
7. I told myself to stop drinking, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk me.
8. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing… and the cocktails.
9. Alcohol may not solve your problems, but neither will milk.
10. I like my whiskey how I like my love – on the rocks.
2. Top 5 Funny Jokes to Tell at the Bar
1. I never drink water… fish f*ck in it.
2. I never drink water… the fish f*ck in it.
3. How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can see just fine in the dark.
4. Why did the bartender tell the grape to stop talking? Because he was raisin hell.
5. Why did the bartender tell the grape to stop talking? Because he was raisin hell.
3. Laugh Out Loud Drunk Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Tipsy with Laughter
1. A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. Suddenly, he hears someone shout, “Hey, you’re the ugliest guy in this bar!” The guy looks around, but doesn’t see anyone pointing at him. So he shrugs it off and takes a sip of his drink. A few minutes later, he hears the same voice yell, “Hey, you’re the ugliest guy in this bar!” Now the guy is really confused, so he asks the bartender who keeps insulting him. The bartender says, “Oh, don’t worry, it’s just the peanuts. They’re complementary.”
2. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field… after a few too many drinks.
3. I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a bartender. I just appreciate a well-made drink.
4. I told my wife I’m not an alcoholic. I’m a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.
5. I told my wife I’m not an alcoholic. I’m a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.
4. The Best Drunk Jokes for Lightening Up Any Party Atmosphere
1. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
2. A drunk man walks into a bar… and a table, and a chair.
3. Why do we call alcohol “spirits”? Because every time you drink, you release a genie from the bottle.
4. Why don’t we tell secrets at the bar? Because the drinks are always listening.
5. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
5. Side-Splittingly Funny Drunk Jokes That Will Have You Rolling on the Floor
1. What’s a pirate’s favorite drink? Arrrrr-garita.
2. I tried to say ‘beers’ ten times fast, but I still ended up drinking one.
3. A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey.” The horse replies, “You read my mind!”
4. Never trust atoms. They make up everything… including your drink.
5. Alcohol isn’t a problem solver… unless you count it solving the problem of being sober.