In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best drink jokes, drink puns and drink dad jokes to make you laugh.
Mix it Up: Hilarious Cocktail Jokes to Shake Up Your Day
1. Why did the bartender break up with the margarita? It was too tequila’d.
2. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
3. Why did the vodka go to school? For higher spirits.
4. I told the bartender I want a drink like my dad used to make. He replied, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve warm beer here.”
5. How do you make a strawberry shake? Put it in the freezer until it’s scared.
6. What’s a bartender’s favorite hobby? Mixing business with pleasure.
7. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the bartender ketchup.
8. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
9. I ordered a vodka tonic with a twist. The bartender gave me the bill.
10. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
Raise a Glass to Laughter: The Funniest Beer Jokes to Make You Chuckle
1. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
2. Why did the beer go to the party alone? It couldn’t find a drinking buddy.
3. I’m a big fan of whiteboards. They’re quite remarkable.
4. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
5. Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.
6. A cheese factory exploded in France. All that was left was de-brie.
7. My girlfriend told me to stop playing Wonderwall on guitar. I said maybe…
8. How does a scientist freshen their breath? With experi-mints.
9. Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
10. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
Wine Not Laugh? Pour Over These Side-Splitting Wine Jokes
1. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
3. I started reading a book about anti-gravity, it’s impossible to put down.
4. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
5. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
6. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
7. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
8. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
9. Why did the bee get married? He found his honey.
10. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
On the Rocks: The Coolest Whiskey Jokes to Whet Your Funny Bone
1. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
2. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
3. Why did the belt get arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
4. What time is it when the clock strikes 13? Time to get a new clock.
5. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
6. Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.
7. What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A kingfish.
8. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
9. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
10. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a big plus.