Top Dracula Jokes, Dracula Puns, Dracula Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best dracula jokes, dracula puns and dracula dad jokes to make you laugh.

1. Sink your teeth into these hilarious Dracula jokes

1. Why did Dracula become a vegetarian? Because he heard stakes were high.
2. What do you call a vampire who’s a prankster? A practical joker.
3. How does Dracula like his eggs? Bloody.
4. Why did Dracula go to the doctor? Because he was coffin.
5. What’s Dracula’s favorite fruit? A necktarine.
6. How does Dracula keep his breath fresh? By using a menthol coffin drop.
7. Why did Dracula open a blood bank? He wanted to make a few transfusions.
8. What do you call a vampire who only eats dessert? A fang-cake.
9. Where did Dracula like to go on vacation? The dead sea.
10. What do you get when you cross Dracula with a snowman? Frostbite.

2. Fang-tastic one-liners that will have you howling with laughter

1. Never invite a vampire to a party, they always take a bite out of the guests.
2. I tried to tell Dracula a joke, but it didn’t go neck-spectingly well.
3. Why did Dracula become a lawyer? He liked to suck the blood out of people.
4. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
5. Dracula wanted to become a comedian, but everyone said his jokes were just a pain in the neck.
6. I used to date Dracula’s sister, but she dumped me for sucking too much.
7. Why did Dracula get lost in the desert? He couldn’t find any veins.
8. What do you call a vampire who’s always sick? A coffin.
9. How do you stop Dracula from biting his nails? Make him wear toe nail polish instead.
10. Why did Dracula stop playing piano? He couldn’t find his fangs.

3. Bitingly funny puns that will leave you in stitches

1. I’m friends with Dracula on Facebook, but he always gets mad when I poke him.
2. What’s Dracula’s favorite kind of coffee? Decoffinated.
3. Why did Dracula go to the barber? For a bitecut.
4. Why did Dracula join the basketball team? He heard they were great at dribbling.
5. Why did Dracula start writing poetry? He wanted to be a neck-romancer.
6. What did Dracula say to his victims before biting them? It will be a pain in the neck.
7. Why was Dracula always in a bad mood? He always got up on the wrong side of the coffin.
8. How do you know when Dracula is mad? He starts coffin’ up blood.
9. Why did Dracula’s pet bat refuse to fly? It was a little batty.
10. Why was Dracula always tired? He never got a good bite’s sleep.

4. Dracula jokes that don’t suck (except for the blood, of course)

1. Why did Dracula get a job at the blood bank? Because he was a good sucker for a deal.
2. How did Dracula learn to use a computer? He took byte-size classes.
3. What do you call a vampire who’s a cook? A count spatula.
4. Why did Dracula start sewing his own clothes? He got tired of always finding the stake-iest outfits.
5. Why was Dracula always the prankster at work? He loved to leave his victims in stitches.
6. What did Dracula do when he lost his fangs? He had to get to the root of the problem.
7. How does Dracula get around town? By blood vessel.
8. Why was Dracula always mistaken for a werewolf? Because he left a real bat impression.
9. What’s Dracula’s favorite type of boat? A blood vessel.
10. Why was Dracula always cold? He could never find a good body temperature.

5. Vamp up your day with these side-splitting Dracula jokes

1. Why did Dracula become a gardener? He loved to plant a few vampire vines.
2. How did Dracula feel after a bad meal? A little sucked dry.
3. What do you call Dracula’s website? Fangbook.
4. Why did Dracula refuse to take a picture? He always thought he looked a bit vein.
5. Why did Dracula get a job as a telemarketer? He was good at cold calls.
6. How does Dracula greet his friends? “Hey, how’s it bleeding?”
7. What’s Dracula’s favorite type of music? Sanguine and roll.
8. Why was Dracula always in a rush? He was always chasing his next victim.
9. How does Dracula stay in shape? He always goes for a little night run.
10. Why was Dracula never invited to parties? Because he always sucked the life out of them.