In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best doctor jokes, doctor puns and doctor dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Hilarious Doctor Jokes That Will Have You in Stitches
1. Why did the doctor carry a red pen?
In case they needed to draw blood!
2. What did the doctor say to the invisible man?
“I’m sorry, I can’t see you right now.”
3. Why did the doctor carry a ladder?
In case they needed to check your temperature from a higher level!
4. Why did the doctor always bring a watch to work?
To keep track of their patients’ pulse!
5. What did one tonsil say to the other?
“You look swollen, are you okay?”
6. Why did the doctor always carry a map?
In case they needed to find a vein!
7. Why did the doctor keep a thesaurus in the exam room?
To dispense prescriptions in a dose of wordplay!
8. How does the doctor keep up with all the paperwork?
By taking regular vitamin IBP (Ibuprofen)!
9. Why did the doctor become a comedian?
They had great bedside humor!
10. What did the doctor say to the germ who tried to book an appointment?
“Sorry, we don’t have room for you here!”
2. Laugh Out Loud with These Side-Splitting Medical Jokes
1. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired after its surgery!
2. What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?
A URLologist!
3. Why did the doctor carry a book of proverbs?
To dispense pills of wisdom!
4. Why was the math book sad at the hospital?
It had too many problems!
5. Why don’t doctors trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
6. What did the x-ray say to the broken bone?
“I’ve got you covered!”
7. Why did the nurse carry a red pen?
To draw blood… and mark her patients’ charts!
8. Why did the doctor carry a hammer?
To nail down a diagnosis!
9. Why did the doctor always carry a notebook?
To jot down their patients’ aches and pains!
10. How do you fix a broken doctor?
With a little patience!
3. Doctor, Doctor! The Funniest Jokes You’ll Hear Today
1. Why did the doctor always carry a dictionary?
To help patients spell relief!
2. What’s the medical term for owning too many dogs?
Lab-results!
3. Why did the doctor go to a comedy club?
To improve their funny bone!
4. What did the doctor say to the antihistamine?
“I’m sorry, but I think you’re drowsy!”
5. Why did the doctor always carry a teddy bear?
To comfort their patients and give them a little bear hug!
6. What do you call a doctor who fixes aquariums?
A sturgeon!
7. Why did the doctor become a baker?
They were tired of all the sick patients – they needed a break!
8. Why couldn’t the doctor perform surgery on a grape?
It was raisin-dent!
9. What did the doctor say to the stressed-out patient?
“Take two jokes and call me in the morning!”
10. Why did the doctor carry an umbrella?
To keep dry humor at bay!
4. Prescription for Laughter: The Top Doctor Jokes of All Time
1. Why did the doctor keep a thesaurus in the exam room?
To dispense prescriptions in a dose of wordplay!
2. What did one tonsil say to the other?
“You look swollen, are you okay?”
3. Why did the doctor always carry a map?
In case they needed to find a vein!
4. Why did the doctor carry a ladder?
In case they needed to check your temperature from a higher level!
5. What did the doctor say to the invisible man?
“I’m sorry, I can’t see you right now.”
6. Why did the doctor carry a red pen?
In case they needed to draw blood!
7. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired after its surgery!
8. What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?
A URLologist!
9. Why did the doctor become a comedian?
They had great bedside humor!
10. Why was the math book sad at the hospital?
It had too many problems!
5. From the Operating Room to the Waiting Room: Doctor Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Smile
1. Why did the doctor carry a stethoscope?
To listen to the sound of health!
2. What do you get if you cross a doctor with a vampire?
Blood test results at night!
3. Why did the doctor always wear a white coat?
To keep their diagnoses clean!
4. Why did the doctor join a band?
They had great bedside manner!
5. What did the thermometer say to the doctor?
“You make my temperature rise!”
6. Why did the doctor always wear glasses?
To better see a patient’s health!
7. What do you call a doctor who fixes watches?
A “hands-on” healer!
8. Why did the doctor carry a flashlight?
To shed light on a diagnosis!
9. What did the doctor say to the skeleton in the closet?
“Get a backbone!”
10. Why did the doctor always carry a stress ball?
To relieve tension in the waiting room!