Top Depression Jokes, Depression Puns, Depression Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best depression jokes, depression puns and depression dad jokes to make you laugh.

Laughing through the tears: The funniest depression jokes

1. Why did the depressed person go to the library? Because they wanted to check out some self-help books.
2. I told my therapist about my depression, and he said, “Don’t worry, it’s just a phase.” I replied, “Great, can you tell me when the next stage is?”
3. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
4. How does a scientist freshen their breath? With experi-mints.
5. Why did the depressed musician break their guitar? They couldn’t handle the strings attached.
6. My friend told me they were feeling depressed, so I gave them a bottle of shampoo. It said on the label, “Lather, rinse, repeat.”
7. Why did the depressed cookie go to therapy? Because it was feeling crumbly.
8. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
9. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
10. How do you organize a space party? You planet.

Hilarious ways to cope: Depression jokes that will make you LOL

1. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.
2. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
3. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
4. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
5. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
6. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity, it’s impossible to put down.
7. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
8. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
9. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
10. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.

Comedy is the best medicine: The top 10 depression jokes to lift your spirits

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments? An orca-stra.
3. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
4. I used to be a personal trainer, but then I lost my clients.
5. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
6. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
7. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
8. Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? It lost its bearings.
9. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
10. Why did the bike fall over? It was two-tired.

Are you feeling down? These depression jokes will turn that frown upside down

1. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
2. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
3. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
4. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
5. I used to be a personal trainer, but then I lost my clients.
6. Why did the belt get arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
7. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
8. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
9. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
10. Why can’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.

Finding humor in darkness: The most relatable and funny depression jokes

1. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
2. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
3. Why did the bike fall over? It was two-tired.
4. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
5. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
6. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
7. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
8. What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments? An orca-stra.
9. Why was the scarecrow awarded? Because he was outstanding in his field.
10. I used to be a personal trainer, but then I lost my clients.