In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best cutting jokes, cutting puns and cutting dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Hilarious One-Liner Jokes to Keep You Laughing
1. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
2. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
3. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
4. Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? It lost its bearings.
5. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
6. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
7. I used to be a waiter, but I couldn’t take the pressure.
8. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
9. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
10. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
2. Roast-Worthy Jokes That Cut Deep
1. I’m not saying my ex is a gold digger, but she sure knows how to pan for compliments.
2. I’d tell you a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
3. I told my boss I needed a pay raise, and he asked me if I could prove it. So I took a shovel and dug up the dirt on his desk.
4. I’m not saying my boss is lazy, but he’s so laid back, he’s almost horizontal.
5. I asked my wife for a cup of coffee. She told me to get it myself. So I told her, “Fine, I’ll start brewing it tomorrow morning.”
6. I asked my wife if she wanted to hear a construction joke. She told me she’d rather nail her finger with a hammer.
7. I tried to come up with a joke about unemployed people, but none of them work.
8. I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She told me to surprise her. So I brought home a dishwasher.
9. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.
10. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
3. Dark and Twisted Humor: The Best Jokes for the Brave
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
3. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
4. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
5. I told my boss I needed a day off, and he told me I needed a better excuse. So I told him I was abducted by aliens.
6. I asked my wife if she wanted to hear a joke about paper. She told me it was tearable.
7. I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
8. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
9. I asked my wife if she wanted to hear a joke about construction. She told me I should build up to it.
10. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
4. Knock Knock Jokes That Will Leave You in Stitches
1. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream every time I see a spider.
2. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry, it’s just a joke.
3. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you and I miss you.
4. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s cold out here.
5. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You’re welcome.
6. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
7. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up and answer the door.
8. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cow says.
Cow says who?
Cow says mooooo.
9. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Just in time for your next joke.
10. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Aw, don’t cry. It’s just a joke.
5. Pun-tastic Jokes That Are Sure to Bring the Laughs
1. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
2. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
3. I’m writing a book on hurricane prediction. But honestly, it’s just a draft.
4. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
5. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
6. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
7. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
8. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
9. I told my boss I needed a day off, and he told me I needed a better excuse. So I told him I was abducted by aliens.
10. I asked my wife for a cup of coffee. She told me to get it myself. So I told her, “Fine, I’ll start brewing it tomorrow morning.”