Top Crew Jokes, Crew Puns, Crew Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best crew jokes, crew puns and crew dad jokes to make you laugh.

Crew Jokes That Will Have You Rolling on Deck

1. Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the boat? He heard the captain wanted a high seas adventure.
2. What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? A rookie.
3. What’s a sailor’s favorite part of the ship? The anchor management team.
4. Why couldn’t the sailors play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck.
5. What did the ocean say to the sailor? Nothing, it just waved.
6. How does a sailor ask for help? He sends out an S.O.S. (Save Our Ship!)
7. Why did the pirate go to school? To improve his “arr” rating.
8. What do you call a sleeping boat? A rowboat.
9. Why did the sailor bring a bar of soap to the desert island? He heard it was a “tide”-over.
10. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You might think it’s “R” but it’s actually the “C” they love.

Funny Jokes Only Crew Members Will Understand

1. Why was the boat so expensive? It had a yacht of extra features.
2. What did the sailor say to the rum? “Sailors can’t live on water alone.”
3. Why did the sailor bring an extra pair of pants onboard? In case he got tide up.
4. What’s the pirate’s favorite restaurant? Long John Silver’s.
5. How does a crew communicate during bad weather? They use signal buoys.
6. Why did the sailor break up with the mermaid? He found out she was just bait.
7. Why did the crew member bring a pencil to the boat? In case they needed to draw the anchor chart.
8. What did the sailor say when he found land? “Sail it isn’t so!”
9. Why did the deckhand go to therapy? He had too many knots in his life.
10. Why do sailors make terrible comedians? They always go overboard with their jokes.

Sailor Humor: Hilarious Jokes for Nautical Nuts

1. Why did the sailor bring a map? In case he needed to “sea” where he was going.
2. Why was the boat always calm during a storm? It had a good anchorage.
3. What does a sailor do when he’s cold? He puts on his anchor-chief.
4. Why did the shrimp join the crew? He wanted to be a little closer to the krill.
5. What does a sailor do before telling a joke? He sets the “mood” with a lighthouse.
6. Why do sailors make terrible stock market investors? They’re always buying into fish bonds.
7. What did the ocean say to the sailor at the party? “You’re making quite the splash.”
8. Why did the sailor take a dinosaur on the boat? For the prehistoric voyage.
9. What’s a sailor’s favorite subject in school? Naval history.
10. What did the captain of the Titanic say to the ocean? “Ice to meet you.”

Anchors Aweigh! Jokes to Lighten the Mood on Deck

1. How can you tell a sailor is happy? He’s all smiles and waves.
2. Why did the sailor bring a bar of soap to the boat? To wash ashore.
3. Why was the boat such a good listener? It had a great pier-to-pier connection.
4. What kind of tea do sailors drink? Swabbtea.
5. What did the sailor do when he saw a storm coming? He decided to weather it out.
6. Why did the sailor break up with his compass? He found out it was always pointing him in the wrong direction.
7. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of art? Sunken treasure.
8. Why did the sailor get kicked out of the comedy club? He kept making “sea”-rious jokes.
9. Why do sailors make terrible bartenders? They can’t handle the rocky waters.
10. What do you call a sailor who can’t swim? Bob.