Top Calamari Jokes, Calamari Puns, Calamari Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best calamari jokes, calamari puns and calamari dad jokes to make you laugh.

Squid-tastic Jokes: The Top 10 Calamari Jokes That Will Crack You Up!

1. Why did the squid break up with the octopus? They were just too clingy.
2. What did the squid say to the shrimp at the dance? Let’s ink-vite our friends!
3. How do squids make decisions? They flip a coin… or should I say, flip a tentacle?
4. Why did the squid bring a calculator to the seafood party? He heard they were going to be counting krill.
5. Why was the squid so good at basketball? He had a great ink-to-the-hoop ratio.
6. What do you call a squid that plays the drums? A rocktopus!
7. How did the squid make friends with the sharks? He krilled them with kindness.
8. Why don’t squids like to share their food? Because they’re a little shellfish.
9. What did the squid say to the comedian? You’re ink-credible!
10. Why did the squid blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.

Get Ready to LOL: Hilarious Calamari Jokes That Will Have You in Stitches

1. What do you call a squid that can play guitar? Squiddly Diddly.
2. Why did the squid go to school? To get a little ink-formation.
3. How do squid communicate underwater? With oct-oct-oct-opus codes!
4. What did the squid say when it was asked to join a secret society? I’d tell you, but then I’d have to krill you.
5. Why did the squid bring a backpack to the party? In case there was a pen and ink-station.
6. What type of music do squids listen to? Ink-yo!
7. Why did the octopus refuse to play hide and seek with the squid? Because he always ink-coundered him.
8. How do you make a squid laugh? Tickles its tentacles!
9. What did the squid say when it won the dance competition? I’ve got some serious krill moves!
10. Why don’t squids ever make good poker players? They’re always too easy to read.

Ink-redibly Funny: The Best Calamari Jokes That Will Make You Chuckle

1. Why did the squid bring an extra pair of pants to the seafood party? In case it got a little inky.
2. How do you catch a squid? With a luring line and sinker!
3. Why did the squid wear sunglasses to the beach? To avoid getting sun-squid-burnt.
4. What did the squid bring to the Christmas party? Tentacle-ations!
5. Why was the squid so happy? Because it had a great ink-lination.
6. What do you call a squid with a Harvard degree? An ink-tellectual.
7. How do squids send mail? Through the ink-mail system!
8. What do you call a group of squids singing together? A symphony of suction cups.
9. Why did the squid join the swim team? To get ink-shape!
10. What did the squid say to the octopus when it didn’t want to share? “You’re being a little shelf-fish.”