In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best breakup jokes, breakup puns and breakup dad jokes to make you laugh.
Laugh Out Loud: The Funniest Breakup Jokes to Help You Move On
1. Why did the girl break up with the calendar? Because she heard he had too many dates.
2. I told my girlfriend we should break up over text, but she didn’t get the message.
3. My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violins.
4. I tried to write a breakup letter to my ex but couldn’t find the right words. So, I just wrote “LOL” and hit send.
5. My girlfriend said she wanted to break up and see other people. I told her, “Don’t worry, I’ll start with your sister.”
6. What’s the best way to get over a breakup? A ladder, because it helps you move on to the next step.
7. I asked my ex if we could still be friends. She said, “Who said we were ever friends?”
8. Why did the electrician break up with his girlfriend? She couldn’t handle his shocking behavior.
9. My ex-girlfriend told me she missed me, but her aim was getting better.
10. I tried to break up with my gym, but it kept sending me mixed signals.
Breakup Blues? These Hilarious Jokes Will Cheer You Up
1. I asked my girlfriend to make me a sandwich, but she couldn’t handle the breakup.
2. Why did the man break up with his can opener? He couldn’t handle the constant drama.
3. I told my ex I wanted to break up because I was feeling boxed in. She said, “That’s a square deal.”
4. I thought breaking up with my weather app would be easy, but it’s hard to let go of something that knows all my highs and lows.
5. My girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too much of an over-thinker. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.
6. My ex gifted me a watch as a breakup present. It was time we moved on.
7. I asked my ex if we could still be friends, and he said, “Sure, just like we’re still dating.”
8. Why did the chef break up with his bread? It was too kneady.
9. I told my ex we should break up before we start to drift apart. He said, “That ship has sailed.”
10. My girlfriend said we should break up because I kept making bad chemistry jokes. I told her, “All the good ones Argon.”
Keep Smiling Through the Tears with These Breakup Funny Jokes
1. My ex and I decided to break up on neutral ground. It was a parking lot.
2. My girlfriend told me she wanted to break up because I was too lazy. I almost got up to stop her.
3. Why did the musician break up with his metronome? He couldn’t stand the constant ticking.
4. I asked my ex why he wanted to break up. He said, “It’s not Ewe, it’s me.”
5. My ex-girlfriend said she wanted to break up because I always acted like a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
6. What did the farmer say to his ex-girlfriend? “I’m sorry we can’t be together. It’s just not working out, cordially yours.”
7. I tried to break up with my calculator, but it just didn’t add up.
8. Why did the bank break up with the ATM? It wasn’t making enough deposits.
9. My ex asked me why I wanted to break up. I told her, “I just don’t see us gel together anymore.”
10. I heard my ex is now dating a clown. I guess I missed the joke.