In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best bible jokes, bible puns and bible dad jokes to make you laugh.
Laughing Out Loud: The Top Bible Jokes that Will Have You in Stitches
1. Why was Goliath so grumpy? He had a giant chip on his shoulder!
2. How do we know that Moses was a fast runner? He did the 10 Commandments in under 40 seconds!
3. What kind of car did the apostles drive? A Honda, because the Bible says they were all in one Accord!
4. Why did the computer keep freezing during the sermon? It had a bad connection to the Holy Wi-Fi.
5. How do we know that Peter was a fisherman? Because he dropped the net profit!
6. Did you hear about the guy who lost his Bible? He felt like he was missing a whole chapter of his life!
7. Why can’t you play cards in the ark? Because Noah was standing on the deck!
8. What do you call someone who steals from the Bible? A scriptureurist!
9. Why did Cain kill Abel? He wanted to raise the bar!
10. What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ Catholic!
Hilarious Humor: Biblical Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Chuckle
1. Why did Adam and Eve never use a computer? They were afraid of apple cores!
2. What do you call an old snowman from Bethlehem? The Abominable-Bible Snowman!
3. How do we know that Solomon was the best businessman in the Bible? He had the most profitable proverbs!
4. What is Samson’s favorite piece of exercise equipment? The jawbone of an ass!
5. Why did the Israelites wander in the desert for 40 years? They kept looking for the 3 trees Moses mentioned in Exodus.
6. What kind of car did Joseph drive in Egypt? A Pharaoharri!
7. How did Adam and Eve feel when they were expelled from the Garden of Eden? They were rattled!
8. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
9. What did Jesus say to the bank teller when he was withdrawing money? “Take these coins and give unto Caesar what is his.”
10. Why did the fig tree refuse to bear fruit? It didn’t want to be fig-leafed out!
Heavenly Hilarity: The Funniest Bible Jokes to Brighten Your Day
1. Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean? Because he knew there was something fishy about it!
2. Why did the Easter Bunny go to church? He heard they had an egg-cellent choir!
3. How did Paul get out of jail so easily? He had a good lawyer – his testimony!
4. What is the best investment in the Bible? The Ark, because it’s always afloat!
5. Why didn’t they play hide and seek in the Garden of Eden? Because good hiding spots were too hard to find!
6. What is the best pick-up line in the Bible? “Is it hot in here or is it just the burning bush?”
7. Why did the shrimp not share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish!
8. What do you call a love triangle in the Bible? A holy trinity!
9. How did Moses make his coffee? Hebrewed it!
10. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice!
Cracking Up: Side-Splitting Jokes Inspired by Scripture
1. Why did Noah visit the chiropractor? He had trouble with his ark back!
2. Why was Cain not allowed to video chat with Abel? Because he was dropped from the family group!
3. What did David say to Goliath before the big battle? “I’ve got you in my sling!”
4. Why was Joseph a great artist? Because he had a lot of coat-talent!
5. How did Joshua communicate with the people of Jericho? He sent them a text message that said “Let my people go!”
6. Why did the prodigal son go broke? He spent all his dough in the pigsty!
7. What was Adam’s excuse for eating the forbidden fruit? “The serpent told me it was a good source of fiber!”
8. Why did the Lord create Eve? He couldn’t find a good rib pun in a man!
9. What do you call a snake that’s a great writer? A hiss-torian!
10. Why did Joseph’s brothers throw him in a pit? Because he was the dream-killer!
Divine Comedy: Unforgettable Bible Jokes That Will Leave You in Tears of Laughter
1. Why did the Roman soldiers have to separate the Sea of Galilee? Because Jesus kept walking on water!
2. What do you get when you cross a Bible with a cell phone? A call from heaven!
3. Why was Moses the best basketball player in the Bible? He had a slam dunk with the Ten Commandments!
4. How did Mary and Joseph figure out Jesus was missing? They found his sandals in the temple!
5. Why did the donkey refuse to carry Mary to Bethlehem? He didn’t want to be a mule for the cause!
6. What did the tree do when God asked it to uproot itself? It leafed!
7. Why did Noah build the ark in 40 days and nights? Because he had tight deadlines!
8. Why did the wise men bring gold, frankincense, and myrrh to the baby Jesus? Because they couldn’t find a gift receipt!
9. What type of doctor was Luke? He was a physician of the soul!
10. Why did the fisherman get excited during Jesus’s sermon? He heard there were plenty of fishes!