Top Battery Jokes, Battery Puns, Battery Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best battery jokes, battery puns and battery dad jokes to make you laugh.

Shockingly Funny: The Top Battery Jokes to Brighten Your Day

1. Why did the battery go to school? Because it wanted to get charged!
2. How does a tech-savvy vampire kill time? By playing with a dead battery!
3. Did you hear about the battery that got arrested? It was charged with assault!
4. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems to solve with a dead battery!
5. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear powered by a low battery!
6. Why did the battery refuse to work with the other batteries? It couldn’t find a positive connection!
7. What did the light bulb say to the battery? “I get a charge out of you!”
8. Why do batteries never get invited to parties? They always end up feeling drained!
9. How did the battery keep its energy up? It had a positive outlook on life!
10. Why was the battery always in a hurry? It couldn’t wait to charge ahead!

Running on Empty: Hilarious Battery Jokes That Will Give You a Boost

1. I told a chemistry joke to my friend, but he didn’t get it. He must not have a high enough charge!
2. Why did the battery break up with the power outlet? It couldn’t handle the current relationship!
3. How do you fix a broken battery? You give it a little spark of inspiration!
4. Why did the battery skip breakfast? It was already fully charged!
5. Why did the battery feel electrified? It had a shocking experience!
6. How do batteries stay in shape? They do power push-ups!
7. Why did the battery feel positive about the future? It saw a light at the end of the tunnel!
8. What do you call a baby battery? A little positive charge!
9. Why did the battery stay up all night reading? It couldn’t put the book down!
10. How do you throw a space party? You planet with an out-of-this-world battery life!

Amp Up Your Mood with These Side-Splitting Battery Jokes

1. Why did the battery go to therapy? It had too many negative thoughts!
2. How do you make a battery laugh? You tickle its positive side!
3. Why did the battery think it was a superhero? It had a supercharged ego!
4. What’s a battery’s favorite type of music? Shock and roll!
5. Why did the battery go to the doctor? It was feeling a little undercharged!
6. How do batteries party? They have a voltage dance-off!
7. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A see-through battery!
8. Why did the battery go broke? It kept spending all its energy on useless things!
9. How do you keep a battery entertained? You give it a positive current event!
10. Why was the battery always in a good mood? It had a positive charge in life!

Stay Positive with These Energizing Battery Jokes

1. Why did the battery get promoted at work? It had a lot of positive energy!
2. How do you know if a battery is single? It’s always looking for a positive connection!
3. Why did the battery start a band? It wanted to play with a lot of energy!
4. What do you call a group of batteries playing music together? A power chord!
5. Why did the battery break up with the power grid? It needed some time to recharge!
6. How did the battery win the marathon? It had a lot of endurance!
7. What do you get when you cross a battery with a turtle? A slow-charging device!
8. Why did the battery go to therapy? It needed to work through its negative charges!
9. How do you keep a battery warm in the winter? You give it a positive boost!
10. Why did the battery get kicked out of the library? It couldn’t stop making noise – it had too much energy!

Laugh ‘Til Your Battery Runs Out with These Rib-Tickling Battery Jokes

1. Why did the battery go to the party alone? It couldn’t find a positive date!
2. How did the battery feel after winning the race? It was positively charged!
3. Why did the battery take a yoga class? It wanted to find inner peace and recharge!
4. What do you call a battery that’s always in a bad mood? A negative Nelly!
5. Why did the battery have trouble making friends? It was too aloof – always keeping its distance!
6. How do you know if a battery is lying? It can’t keep its charge!
7. Why did the battery start a blog? It wanted to share its positive energy with the world!
8. What do you get when you cross a battery with a banana? A source of positive energy!
9. Why did the battery quit its job in sales? It couldn’t handle the negative feedback!
10. How do you make a battery stop working? You drain its current account!