In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best basic jokes, basic puns and basic dad jokes to make you laugh.
I. Laugh Out Loud: The Funniest Jokes for Every Occasion
1. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
2. What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A kingfish.
3. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
4. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
5. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
6. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
7. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
8. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands instead.
9. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
10. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
II. Classic Jokes That Never Fail to Get a Chuckle
1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
2. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
3. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
4. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
5. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
6. Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!
7. What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.
8. Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? It lost its bearings.
9. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field.
10. What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.
III. Hilarious One-Liners to Make You Smile
1. Never trust an atom, they make up everything.
2. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity – it’s impossible to put down!
3. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes – she gave me a hug.
4. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
5. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
6. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
7. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
8. What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry.
9. I’m very good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.
10. I would tell you a construction joke, but I’m still working on it.
IV. Double the Laughter with Punny Jokes
1. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
2. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
3. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
4. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
5. I have a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
6. Why are ghosts bad liars? You can see right through them.
7. I’m a big fan of whiteboards. They’re re-markable.
8. I’m starting a new business making landmines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
9. I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.
10. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes – she gave me a hug.
V. Lighten the Mood with Clean and Clever Jokes
1. Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? It lost its bearings.
2. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
3. I’m writing a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it!
4. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
5. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? Just in case he got a hole in one.
6. What’s the easiest way to make a glowworm happy? Cut off its tail, it’ll be delighted.
7. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
8. I’m reading a book on the history of glue – I just can’t seem to put it down.
9. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
10. I heard the local butchers had a deal on sausages – it was the wurst.