In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best bar jokes, bar puns and bar dad jokes to make you laugh.
Cheers to These Hilarious Bar Jokes: Guaranteed to Make You Laugh While You Sip
1. Why did the bartender break up with the cocktail waitress? She kept giving him the cold shoulder.
2. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, “A beer for me, and one for the road.”
3. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
4. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
5. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
6. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
7. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
8. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
9. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
10. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
Serving Up Some Side-Splitting Bar Jokes: The Funniest One-Liners and Puns
1. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
2. Parallel lines have so much in common. Too bad they’ll never meet.
3. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
4. Why don’t scientists trust stairs? Because they’re always up to something.
5. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
6. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
7. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.
8. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
9. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
10. What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.
Bartender, Tell Us a Joke! The Best Bar Jokes to Break the Ice at Happy Hour
1. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
2. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
3. Parallel lines have so much in common. Too bad they’ll never meet.
4. What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
5. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
6. Why was the belt arrested? It held up a pair of pants!
7. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
8. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
9. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
10. I can cut down a tree only using my vision. I saw it with my own eyes.
Raise Your Glass and Your Spirits with These Gut-Busting Bar Jokes
1. Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.
2. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
3. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
4. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
5. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
6. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
7. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
8. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
9. Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife fall asleep? Because of his coffin.
10. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
Last Call for Laughter: Unwind with the Top Bar Jokes That Will Have You Rolling
1. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
2. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
3. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
4. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
5. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
6. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
7. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
8. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
9. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
10. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.