In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best baptism jokes, baptism puns and baptism dad jokes to make you laugh.
Dive into Laughter: Top 10 Hilarious Baptism Jokes
1. Why did the baptist bring a towel to the baptism? To dry off after making a splash!
2. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
3. Did you hear about the baptizing of the heavy drinker? He went in dry and came out wet!
4. What do you call a fish that has been baptized? A “holy mackerel”!
5. Why was the Baptism at the beach so quick? Because it was “shore” to be fast!
6. Why did the lemon refuse to be baptized? Because it didn’t want to be squeezed!
7. What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane? A “Holy Flyer”!
8. Did you hear about the guy who baptized his chickens? He had to use waterfowl!
9. Why did the baby elephant get baptized? He wanted to make a trunk call!
10. What do you call a divine fruit? A “holy guacamole”!
Make a Splash with These Funny Baptism Jokes
1. How does a penguin get baptized? In the polar ice church!
2. Why was the baker bad at baptizing? He kept getting pulled under the dough!
3. What did the ocean say to the priest during the baptism? Nothing, it just waved!
4. Why did the atheist refuse to get baptized? He didn’t want to “sunk” to those levels.
5. What do you call a baptism in a bakery? A “holy roll”!
6. How does a pirate get baptized? With a yo-ho-holy water!
7. Why did the computer get baptized? It had a lot of viruses and needed a fresh start!
8. What do you call a nun who loves to swim? A “holy diver”!
9. How do frogs get baptized? They go down to the riverbank!
10. What do you call a baptism held during a thunderstorm? A “holy shock”!
Laugh Your Way to the Holy Water: Best Baptism Jokes to Lighten the Mood
1. Why did the graveyard get baptized? It was de-composing!
2. How does a tree get baptized? It gets down on its roots!
3. Did you hear about the ghost that got baptized? It came out clean, as a “holy spirit”!
4. Why did the golfer get baptized? He wanted to improve his “hole-in-one” record!
5. What do you call a baptism for a group of cows? A “heard” immersion!
6. How does a firefighter get baptized? With holy water from the fire hose!
7. Why was the football player baptized? To wash away his “sins” on the field!
8. What did the tomato say after getting baptized? “I’ve been sauced!”
9. Why did the math book get baptized? It had too many problems!
10. How do vampires get baptized? Very “blood”y!