In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best attorney jokes, attorney puns and attorney dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Hilarious Lawyer Jokes to Brighten Your Day
1. Why don’t lawyers play hide and seek? Good luck finding one that isn’t billing you for their time!
2. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.
3. How does an attorney sleep? First, they lie on one side, then they lie on the other.
4. Why did the lawyer cross the road? To bill the client for travel expenses.
5. How many lawyer jokes are there? Only three. The rest are true stories.
6. Why did the scarecrow become a successful lawyer? He was outstanding in his field.
7. How can you tell if a lawyer is lying? Their lips are moving.
8. Why do lawyers make terrible fishermen? They’re always throwing back the best catch.
9. What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers? Skeet.
10. How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? Just say “fees!”
2. Laugh Out Loud with these Top Attorney Jokes
1. Why did the lawyer wear a suit to the job interview? Because a lawsuit wouldn’t fit!
2. How does an attorney say goodbye? “We’ll be suing ya!”
3. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
4. What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the courtroom? “Odor in the court!”
5. Why don’t lawyers go to the beach? Cats keep trying to bury them.
6. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One’s a bloodsucking parasite, the other is a tiny worm.
7. Why did the lawyer go to heaven? St. Peter recognized him from his billable hours.
8. What’s the best way to get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope.
9. How many lawyer jokes are in existence? Just two, the rest are true stories.
10. How do you make a million dollars as a lawyer? Start off with two million.
3. The Funniest Legal Jokes You’ve Ever Heard
1. Why don’t lawyers go to the beach? The cats keep trying to bury them.
2. Why did the lawyer cross the road? To get to the car accident on the other side.
3. Why do lawyers love to play golf? It’s the only time they can yell “fore!”
4. Why do sharks never attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.
5. How many lawyer jokes are in existence? Just two, the rest are true stories.
6. What do you call an attorney with an IQ of 50? Your Honor.
7. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.
8. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? Lawyers can take off their wingtips.
9. Why did the lawyer go broke? It only took one to change a light bulb, but three to bill for it.
10. How does a lawyer sleep? First, they lie on one side, then they lie on the other.
4. Get Ready to Chuckle with These Lawyer Jokes
1. Why did the lawyer bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
2. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three – one to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.
3. How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope.
4. Why did the lawyer go broke playing hide and seek? Nobody would come near his billable rates.
5. Why don’t lawyers go to the beach? Because cats keep trying to bury them.
6. Why do lawyers make terrible fishermen? They always throw back the best catch.
7. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? Their lips are moving.
8. Why was the lawyer always calm and collected? He had a lot of lawsuit-zie faire.
9. How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
10. How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? You won’t find a lawyer who’ll change a lightbulb, but you will find one who will bill you for it.
5. Cracking Up with the Best Attorney Jokes of All Time
1. What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention? The caterer.
2. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.
3. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
4. Why do lawyers love playing golf? Because it’s the only time they can yell “fore!”
5. Why did the lawyer cross the road? To bill the chickens for their time.
6. I’m not saying your attorney is a but always be wary of attorneys with grease pencils and chalk on their lapels.
7. Why was the lawyer investigated by the IRS? For taxing the judge’s patience.
8. How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? How many can you afford?
9. Why don’t lawyers play hide and seek? Good luck finding one who isn’t billing you for their time!
10. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.