Top Amish Jokes, Amish Puns, Amish Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best amish jokes, amish puns and amish dad jokes to make you laugh.

1. Hilarious Amish Jokes to Keep You Laughing

1. Why did the Amish man get rid of his phone? He heard it was connecting him to the outside world.
2. How do Amish women keep in touch with their friends? They send each other quilt cards.
3. Why did the Amish man start a woodworking business? He wanted to work with his hands and saw an opportunity.
4. What did the Amish man say when he saw a solar panel for the first time? “That’s a strange looking mirror.”
5. How do Amish people find their way around in the dark? They use barn stars as nightlights.
6. Why do Amish couples never argue? They settle their disputes in a barn-raising showdown.
7. What do Amish teenagers use to communicate secretly? Morse code using cowbells.
8. How do Amish people stay warm during the winter? They huddle together for a barn dance.
9. Why did the Amish man refuse to buy a car? He said it was too much horsepower for him.
10. What do you call an Amish man with his hands in his pockets? A man who’s lost his buttons.

2. The Funniest Amish Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Chuckle

1. Why do Amish people make terrible basketball players? They can’t break the Quaker Oats.
2. How do Amish people celebrate Halloween? They go as “electricity” and “modern technology.”
3. What did the Amish man say when he saw a zebra for the first time? “That cow looks funny.”
4. Why did the Amish boy bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
5. How do Amish people count their cows? They use a cow-culator.
6. Why did the Amish man start a mushroom farm? He heard he could grow them in the dark and thought it was “unplugged.”
7. What did the Amish man say when he saw a microwave? “That’s a fancy bread box!”
8. How do Amish people fix a leaky roof? They have a “barn raising” party and lift the roof higher.
9. Why did the Amish man get a job as a tailor? He wanted a “seamless” career change.
10. What did the Amish man say when he saw a smartphone? “That’s a fancy butter churn.”

3. Side-Splitting Amish Jokes for a Good Laugh

1. Why do Amish people make terrible comedians? They’re always keeping their humor “under wraps.”
2. How do Amish people throw a party? They have a barn-raising celebration with plenty of home-cooked food.
3. What did the Amish man say when he saw a helicopter? “Look at that flying carriage!”
4. Why did the Amish man become a beekeeper? He heard it was a “buzz-worthy” job.
5. How do Amish people watch movies? They have a barn screening with a candle-lit projector.
6. Why did the Amish woman join a band? She wanted to play the “acoustic guitar.”
7. What did the Amish man say when he saw a hot air balloon? “That’s a strange-looking barn in the sky.”
8. How do Amish people take selfies? They paint their portraits on a canvas.
9. Why did the Amish man switch to decaf? He didn’t want to start a “rumble” by drinking too much coffee.
10. What did the Amish man say when he saw a satellite dish? “That’s a funny-looking bird feeder.”

4. Top Amish Jokes That Will Have You in Stitches

1. Why do Amish people make terrible detectives? They’re always “missing” technology to solve cases.
2. How do Amish people do laundry? They use washboards and rivers instead of “spin” cycle machines.
3. What did the Amish man say when he saw a drone? “That’s a strange bird flying without wings.”
4. Why did the Amish man become a shepherd? He heard sheep were the ultimate “herding” challenge.
5. How do Amish people take vacations? They have a “barn raising” excursion to a neighboring community.
6. Why did the Amish woman start a gardening business? She wanted to “celery-brate” the harvest.
7. What did the Amish man say when he saw a roller coaster for the first time? “That’s a wild horse ride in the sky!”
8. How do Amish people celebrate birthdays? They have a barn party with plenty of homemade pies and cakes.
9. Why did the Amish man become a painter? He heard it was a “canvas-tastic” career choice.
10. What did the Amish man say when he saw a skateboard? “That’s a funny looking wheel-less buggy.”

5. Laugh Out Loud with These Amish Jokes and Puns

1. Why do Amish people make terrible firefighters? They’re allergic to “fire” drills.
2. How do Amish people stay fit? They have barn-raising exercises instead of going to the gym.
3. What did the Amish man say when he saw a wind turbine? “That’s a strange-looking fan.”
4. Why did the Amish man start a gardening business? He wanted to “turnip” the quality of produce.
5. How do Amish people go shopping? They go to the “general store” for all their needs.
6. Why did the Amish man become a carpenter? He heard it was a “nail-biting” job.
7. What did the Amish man say when he saw a submarine? “That’s an underwater buggy!”
8. How do Amish people stay cool in the summer? They have barn-raising “ice cream socials.”
9. Why did the Amish man start a cheese-making business? He heard it was a “gouda” opportunity.
10. What did the Amish man say when he saw a skateboard? “That’s a strange-looking wagon with wheels.”