In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best almond jokes, almond puns and almond dad jokes to make you laugh.
Nutty Laughs: The Top Almond Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up
1. Why did the almond go to the party? Because it was a salted occasion!
2. What do you call an almond who likes to dance? A nutcracker!
3. Why did the almond go to the doctor? It was feeling a bit nutty.
4. How do almonds communicate? They use sign language!
5. Why did the almond break up with the cashew? They were just nuts for each other.
6. What did the almond say to the walnut? It’s hard being a nut!
7. What’s an almond’s favorite crime show? Nut-CSI!
8. Why did the almond go to school? To get a little nut-tion.
9. Why did the almond get promoted? It cracked under pressure!
10. How do you make an almond laugh? Tickle its shell!
A-maize-ing Almond Puns That Will Leave You in Stitches
1. What do you call an almond on a farm? A corn nut!
2. Why did the almond go to the baseball game? It heard it was going to be a real shell-off!
3. What did the almond say to the pistachio? Let’s go nuts and be friends!
4. Why did the almond accept the job offer? It needed to shell out for some new shoes.
5. How do you unlock an almond’s potential? Crack the code!
6. Why was the almond happy at the party? It was a real nut-cess.
7. What did the almond say to the coconut? You crack me up!
8. Why did the almond go to the beach? To work on its tan!
9. What’s an almond’s favorite movie genre? Nutty comedies!
10. Why did the almond bring a ladder to the peanut farm? It heard the peanuts were up high!
Almond Humor: Hilarious Jokes That Will Make You Nutty with Laughter
1. Why did the almond get lost in the forest? It couldn’t find its way out of the nut maze!
2. What do you call an almond with a great sense of humor? A cashew-tup comedian!
3. Why did the almond refuse to play hide-and-seek? It didn’t want to be shellfish!
4. How do almonds stay in touch with each other? They nutify each other!
5. What did the almond say to the walnut at the party? Let’s go nuts and dance!
6. Why was the almond always invited to game night? It was a real cracker at charades!
7. What’s an almond’s favorite rock band? The Nutty Peanuts!
8. How do almonds vote? They shell-ect the best candidate!
9. Why did the almond go to the gym? It heard there were a lot of nuts there!
10. What did the almond say to the squirrel? Hands off my shell!
The Best Almond Jokes That Are Almond-solutely Funny
1. Why did the almond invest in the stock market? It wanted to shell out for its future!
2. What do you call an almond who can play the guitar? A rock-nut star!
3. Why did the almond go to the comedy club? It heard the nutty jokes were cracking up the audience!
4. How do almonds stay in shape? They exercise their crunches!
5. What did the almond say to the peanut butter? Let’s stick together!
6. Why did the almond refuse to watch the horror movie? It couldn’t handle the nut-scares!
7. What do you call an almond who loves to travel? A globe-trotting nut!
8. Why did the almond go to the art exhibit? It wanted to see some nutty paintings!
9. How do almonds keep warm in the winter? They wear nutty sweaters!
10. What did the almond say to the pecan? You’re driving me nuts!
Go Nuts with Laughter: Almond Jokes That Will Have You Rolling in the Aisles
1. Why did the almond get a job as a comedian? It had a lot of cracking jokes!
2. What do you call an almond who’s always on time? Punctual-nutty!
3. Why did the almond go to the fashion show? It wanted to shell out for some new outfits.
4. How do you get an almond to stop laughing? You crack it up!
5. What did the almond say to the coconut at the party? Let’s go nuts and dance!
6. Why was the almond always excited to go to work? It was a real nut job!
7. What’s an almond’s favorite board game? Nut-opoly!
8. How do almonds keep in touch with each other? They email shell other!
9. Why did the almond refuse to run the marathon? It didn’t want to be in a crunch!
10. What did the almond say to the walnut at the fitness class? Let’s work on our nut crunches!