In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best abraham lincoln jokes, abraham lincoln puns and abraham lincoln dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Honest and Hilarious: Top Abraham Lincoln Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh
1. Why did Abraham Lincoln have a beard? Because he couldn’t find a razor big enough for his top hat!
2. What’s Abraham Lincoln’s favorite rock band? The Union Underground!
3. Why was Abraham Lincoln a great president? Because he was honest… Abe-olutely!
4. What did Abraham Lincoln say to his wife before going to the theater? “I’ll be back in four scores and seven years.”
5. How did Abraham Lincoln like his coffee? Ground up and roasted, just like the Confederacy!
6. What’s Abraham Lincoln’s favorite vegetable? Emanci-peas!
7. Why did Abraham Lincoln grow a beard? To hide his neck of the woods!
8. What do you call it when Abraham Lincoln takes a nap? A “log cabin” break!
9. How did Abraham Lincoln keep in shape? He did the Gettysburg Address!
10. Why did Abraham Lincoln have trouble sleeping? He had too many Civil “War” nightmares!
2. Laughing with Lincoln: The Funniest Jokes About the 16th President
1. Why did Abraham Lincoln cross the road? To get to the emancipation proclamation on the other side!
2. How did Abraham Lincoln party? He threw a Gettys-bash!
3. What do you call a fake Abraham Lincoln? An impasta!
4. Why did Abraham Lincoln carry a message in a bottle? Because his Emancipation Proclamation needed a “draft”!
5. Why did Abraham Lincoln wear a top hat? He heard it was “head and shoulders” above the rest!
6. What do you get when you cross Abraham Lincoln with a chicken? A “prez-zel”!
7. Why was Abraham Lincoln a great wrestler? He always knew how to pin down his opponents!
8. What did Abraham Lincoln tell his kids at bedtime? “Don’t let the bed bugs sign the Confederacy!”
9. How did Abraham Lincoln deal with stress? He always took a “Confederate” break!
10. Why did Abraham Lincoln sign the Emancipation Proclamation in pen? Because pencils had too many “eras”!
3. Lincoln’s Comedy Club: A Collection of Side-Splitting Jokes About Honest Abe
1. Why was Abraham Lincoln a terrible barber? Because every haircut was a close shave!
2. How does Abraham Lincoln like his steak cooked? Emanci-GRILLED!
3. Why was Abraham Lincoln always calm during the Civil War? He had a lot of “Union” breaks!
4. What did Abraham Lincoln say to his tailor? “Give me a presidential stitch!”
5. Why did Abraham Lincoln never go swimming? He was always drowning in paperwork!
6. What did Abraham Lincoln do when he had a tough decision to make? He flipped a coin and called it the “Emanci-tails Proclamation”!
7. Why did Abraham Lincoln love the theater? He always wanted to be in the spotlight!
8. How did Abraham Lincoln win at poker? He always had a “Union” card up his sleeve!
9. What did Abraham Lincoln say when he ran out of coffee? “Confederate-ly, there’s nothing left!”
10. Why was Abraham Lincoln such a great speaker? He knew how to deliver a “Gettys-burn”!
4. From the Emancipator to the Jokester: The Best Abraham Lincoln Jokes of All Time
1. What did Abraham Lincoln say when he lost his hat? “I’ll be tophat-ful if you can find it for me!”
2. Why did Abraham Lincoln become a lawyer? He heard it was a brief way to make a case!
3. How did Abraham Lincoln celebrate his birthday? With a Gettys-birthcake!
4. Why did Abraham Lincoln never play hide and seek? He was always too tall to hide!
5. What did Abraham Lincoln say when he caught a cold? “I have a bad case of the Lincolns!”
6. Why did Abraham Lincoln write with a quill pen? He wanted to sign his name in “historic” ink!
7. How did Abraham Lincoln take his tea? “Unionized” with a splash of freedom!
8. What did Abraham Lincoln say when he was feeling down? “I need to take a Lincoln break!”
9. Why did Abraham Lincoln always wear a suit? He thought it was suite-able for a president!
10. What do you call it when Abraham Lincoln tells a joke? A “Gettysgiggle”!
5. Gettysburg Giggles: Humorous Stories and Jokes About Abraham Lincoln’s Legacy
1. Why did Abraham Lincoln go to a comedy show? He needed a good “laughing matter”!
2. How did Abraham Lincoln feel after giving the Gettysburg Address? He had a “civil speech hangover”!
3. What did Abraham Lincoln say when he lost his voice? “I’ll just have to write my jokes in Emancipation Proclamation!”
4. Why did Abraham Lincoln never learn to dance? He had two left “unions”!
5. How did Abraham Lincoln defend himself from criticism? He always had a “Union” to support him!
6. What was Abraham Lincoln’s favorite ice cream flavor? Emancipation Rum Raisin!
7. Why did Abraham Lincoln always have a spare top hat? In case he needed to make a “quicK Confederacy escape”!
8. What did Abraham Lincoln say at the end of every speech? “Thank you, and God bless the Un-Union!”
9. Why was Abraham Lincoln a great chef? He always knew how to cook up some “proclamations”!
10. How did Abraham Lincoln keep track of his jokes? He always wrote them in his “Gettysbored” journal!