Top Israel Jokes, Israel Puns, Israel Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best israel jokes, israel puns and israel dad jokes to make you laugh.

Hilarious Israeli Jokes That Will Have You Laughing Out Loud

1. Why do Israelis make terrible firefighters? Because they always Israeli-fail!
2. What do you call an Israeli who always has a cold? A Jew-sneezian!
3. How does an Israeli fish say hello? Shalom, herring!
4. Why did the Israeli break up with his calculator? It just wasn’t adding up!
5. What do you call an Israeli who loves to shop? A Hebrew-rew!
6. Why did the Israeli wear a coat to the beach? He wanted to be a kosher shell!
7. Why was the Israeli newspaper so good at telling jokes? Because it had a lot of pun-til headlines!
8. How many Israelis does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, they’re very efficient!
9. Why did the Israeli bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
10. What’s an Israeli’s favorite type of music? Hebrew-hop!

Top 5 Funny Israel Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Chuckle

1. Why was the Israeli flag so small? Because it only took up Gaza strip!
2. What did the Israeli say to the falafel? You complete me!
3. Why did the Israeli go to college? To get a “higher” education!
4. How do Israelis stay cool in the summer? They only wear “shalom” shorts!
5. What’s an Israeli’s favorite day of the week? Fry-day!

Laughing All the Way to Tel Aviv: The Best Israel Jokes

1. Why do Israelis make terrible bakers? Because they always knead more time!
2. What do you call an Israeli vegetable? A holy-cumber!
3. Why don’t Israelis play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when everyone knows your business!
4. How do Israelis exercise at the beach? They do matzah-robics!
5. What did the Israeli say to the tree? “Olive you!”

Oh Jerusalem, Tell Us Your Best Jokes: Humorous Israeli Humor

1. Why don’t Israelis ever get lost? Because they always know the “way”!
2. What’s an Israeli’s favorite dessert? Jew-licious cake!
3. Why did the Israeli break up with his girlfriend at the bakery? She just wasn’t his bread and butter!
4. How do Israelis make decisions? They just “alt” for it!
5. What’s an Israeli’s favorite sport? Squash, but only if it’s Israeli-grown!

From Hummus to Haifa: Israeli Jokes That Will Crack You Up

1. Why did the Israeli bring a ladder to the party? He heard the drinks were on the roof!
2. What do you call an Israeli mirror? A Jeru-sel-fie!
3. Why did the Israeli go to the doctor? He heard laughter was the best medicine!
4. How do Israelis like their eggs? Shabbat-scrambled!
5. What’s an Israeli’s favorite car? A He-brew’d up Toyota!