In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best nursing jokes, nursing puns and nursing dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Nurse Jokes to Keep You in Stitches
1. Why did the nurse always carry a red pen?
– In case she needed to draw blood.
2. What do you call a nurse who sleeps on the job?
– A nap-kin.
3. Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the freezer?
– So she could give her patients a chilling experience.
4. What did the nurse say to the doctor who kept making bad jokes?
– “Stop operating, you’re not funny!”
5. Why did the nurse always carry a pencil behind her ear?
– In case she needed to draw blood.
6. Why did the nurse carry colored pencils?
– To draw her patients’ blood.
7. Why did the nurse carry a red pen?
– In case she needed to draw blood.
8. What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket?
– “Some asshole has my pen!”
9. Why did the nurse always bring a pencil to work?
– In case she needed to draw blood.
10. What do you call a nurse who wears the wrong-sized shoes?
– Ill-fitting.
2. Prescription for Laughter: Hilarious Nursing Jokes
1. Why don’t nurses trust stairs?
– They’re always up to something.
2. Why do nurses always bring red pens to work?
– In case they need to draw blood.
3. Why did the nurse carry a tan curtain with her?
– To give her patients some shade.
4. Why did the nurse always have a thermometer in her pocket?
– She was feeling a little under the weather.
5. How did the nurse revive the dead batteries?
– She charged them.
6. What did the nurse say to the doctor with bad handwriting?
– “Can you prescribe some chicken scratch for me?”
7. Why did the nurse carry a stopwatch?
– She needed to time all her patients’ complaints.
8. Why did the nurse carry a ladder with her to work?
– She wanted to elevate the patient’s mood.
9. Why did the nurse carry a feather with her?
– So she could tickle her patients funny bones.
10. Why did the nurse wear glasses to work?
– To keep an eye on her patients.
3. Laughing All the Way to the Hospital: Funny Nursing Jokes
1. Why did the nurse go to art school?
– She wanted to draw blood.
2. Why did the nurse always bring a pencil to work?
– In case she had to draw blood.
3. Why did the nurse always have an extra pair of socks with her?
– To keep her patients’ feet warm.
4. Why did the nurse bring a rake to work?
– To deal with all the sick leaves.
5. Why did the nurse wear an apron to work?
– She wanted to tie up any loose ends.
6. What did the nurse say to the patient with a broken arm?
– “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. It’s just a little humerus.”
7. Why did the nurse carry a dictionary with her?
– To check the spelling of all those hard-to-pronounce medications.
8. What did the nurse say when the patient asked for some water?
– “I’m sorry, but we only serve suppositories here.”
9. Why did the nurse bring a map to work?
– In case she needed to chart her patients’ progress.
10. What did the nurse say when the patient asked for a painkiller?
– “Sorry, I’m not allowed to give you anything stronger than a smile.”
4. The Best Medicine: Side-Splitting Nursing Jokes
1. Why did the nurse carry a golf club to work?
– To help with all those strokes.
2. Why did the nurse carry a map with her to work?
– So she wouldn’t get lost in all the hospital corridors.
3. Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work?
– To help her patients reach new heights.
4. Why did the nurse bring a deck of cards to work?
– In case she needed to deal with a full house.
5. Why did the nurse always carry a flashlight?
– To shed some light on the situation.
6. Why did the nurse carry a fishing rod to work?
– To reel in all the compliments.
7. Why did the nurse always bring a mirror to work?
– To reflect on her day.
8. Why did the nurse carry a whistle with her?
– In case there was an emergency.
9. Why did the nurse bring a bell to work?
– Because every patient deserves a ring of care.
10. Why did the nurse always carry a spare tire with her?
– In case she needed to pump up her patients’ spirits.
5. Code Blue Humor: Nurse Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Chuckle
1. Why did the nurse wear a stethoscope around her neck?
– To keep her heart in the right place.
2. Why did the nurse always carry a teddy bear with her?
– To give her patients some comfort.
3. Why did the nurse bring a sponge to work?
– To soak up all the tears.
4. Why did the nurse bring a pillow to work?
– To give her patients some rest.
5. Why did the nurse always have a bandage on her finger?
– Because she was all thumbs.
6. Why did the nurse carry a bottle of water with her?
– To wash away all the worries.
7. Why did the nurse bring a Rubik’s Cube to work?
– To solve all the medical mysteries.
8. Why did the nurse carry a magnifying glass with her?
– To help her patients see the bigger picture.
9. Why did the nurse always bring a mini fridge with her?
– To keep her cool under pressure.
10. Why did the nurse wear a cape to work?
– To show her patients she was their superhero.