In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best sarcastic jokes, sarcastic puns and sarcastic dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Hilariously Sarcastic Jokes to Make You LOL
1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
2. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
3. I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
4. I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
5. I put the “Pro” in procrastination.
6. I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy.
7. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
8. I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.
9. Sarcasm is my love language.
10. I’m not short, I’m just concentrated awesome.
2. Top 10 Witty and Sarcastic Jokes That Will Crack You Up
1. It’s not rocket science…unless you’re a rocket scientist.
2. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
3. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
4. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
5. I’m not clumsy, everything is just in my way.
6. Why be a king when you can be a god? I settle for nothing less.
7. I’m not a control freak, but can I show you the right way to do that?
8. My doctor told me I’m colorblind. So, the news is no longer black and white.
9. I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are under construction.
10. I don’t need anger management, I need people to stop pissing me off.
3. Laugh Out Loud with These Sassy and Sarcastic Jokes
1. I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen us in the same room together?
2. I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV.
3. I’m not fat, I’m just easier to see.
4. I’m not a morning person, I’m a “you’re annoying me before noon” person.
5. I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong.
6. I’m not ignoring you, I’m just prioritizing my to-do list.
7. I’m not a therapist, but I can listen to your problems for $100 an hour.
8. I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship.
9. I’m not a player, I just crush a lot…at Candy Crush.
10. I’m not lazy, I’m energy efficient.
4. The Ultimate List of Sarcastic Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Smile
1. I’m not antisocial, I’m anti-people.
2. I love cleaning up messes…just kidding, that’s not going to happen.
3. I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
4. I’m not a smart aleck, I’m a skilled conversationalist.
5. I’m not stubborn, my way is just better.
6. I’m not a perfectionist, I’m just very, very good at everything.
7. I’m not a hero, but I am preparing to be one just in case.
8. I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person.
9. I’m not bossy, I just happen to have better ideas.
10. I’m not sarcastic, I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.
5. Unleash Your Inner Snark with These Side-Splitting Sarcastic Jokes
1. I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
2. I’m not sarcastic, I’m just allergic to stupidity.
3. I’m not a therapist, but I’m happy to listen to you complain.
4. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
5. I’m not a control freak, I just know what you should be doing.
6. I’m not procrastinating, I’m doing research on how to avoid work.
7. I’m not impatient, I just want everything to happen immediately.
8. I’m not clumsy, I’m just testing the feeling of gravity.
9. I’m not always late, I just like to make an entrance.
10. I’m not a pessimist, I’m an optimist with experience.