In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best sql jokes, sql puns and sql dad jokes to make you laugh.
SQL Joke #1: Why did the SQL query break up with its tables?
1. Because it couldn’t COMMIT to the relationship.
2. They had too many NULL values in common.
3. It couldn’t HANDLE the stress of the relationship.
4. SELECT * FROM relationships WHERE status = ‘broken’.
5. They couldn’t find a common JOIN clause.
6. The tables were too INDEXpensive.
7. It couldn’t UPDATE its feelings.
8. It kept getting lost in INNER JOINs.
9. It couldn’t COUNT on its tables.
SQL Joke #2: How many SQL programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
1. None, that’s a hardware issue.
2. Only one, but they’ll have to first DROP the old bulb.
3. Just one, but they’ll need to INSERT a new one.
4. It depends, are we using MySQL or PostgreSQL?
5. They’ll need to UPDATE the database schema.
SQL Joke #3: Why was the database administrator afraid of restaurants?
1. Because they kept getting TABLE locks.
2. They were worried about getting a bad REVIEWS table.
3. They were afraid of getting a DROP DATABASE command from the chef.
4. They couldn’t handle the CURSORs.
5. The thought of a full OUTER JOIN gave them nightmares.
SQL Joke #4: What did the SQL query say to the table that wanted to join?
1. Are you my PRIMARY KEY?
2. Let’s get INNER together.
3. We make a perfect MATCH.
4. Can we just have a LEFT OUTER JOIN?
5. I’ll be your SELECT if you’ll be my FROM.
SQL Joke #5: Why did the programmer bring a ladder to the SQL party?
1. To reach the highest RANK in the database.
2. He heard there were some NULL pointers on the dance floor.
3. To climb the hierarchy of tables.
4. To get to the top of the stack.
5. He didn’t want to be LEFT JOINed out of the fun.