In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best punctuation jokes, punctuation puns and punctuation dad jokes to make you laugh.
Punctuating with Pizzazz: The Funniest Jokes About Commas, Periods, and More
1. Why did the comma break up with the apostrophe? Because it was too possessive!
2. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
3. Why was the exclamation point so happy? Because it had a point!
4. What did the semicolon say to the colon? Stop talking crap.
5. I used to have a fear of peer pressure, but I’m slowly getting over it.
6. Why did the period go to the bar? It needed some space.
7. I before E, except after C. Weird, isn’t it?
8. Why did the question mark annoy the period? It kept asking too many questions.
9. Did you hear about the hyphen that broke up with the dash? It was a long story.
10. Grammar jokes are not only punny, but also very punctual.
LOL-worthy Quips: Hilarious Jokes About Apostrophes and Exclamation Points
1. Why did the exclamation point marry the question mark? They had great chemistry!
2. I used to be a comma, but then I found my period.
3. What did the possessive noun say to the contraction? You’re not my type!
4. A verb walks into a bar, sees a regular and says, “I think we should hook up.”
5. Why did the quotation marks break up? They couldn’t find the right words.
6. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
7. I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
8. Why did the grammarian go to therapy? He had too many issues!
9. What did the colon say to the semicolon? You’re not my equal.
10. English teachers make terrible baseball coaches. They always want you to go back and edit your pitches.
Laughing Out Loud: The Top Punctuation Jokes That Will Make You ROFL
1. My friend keeps saying “Cheer up, man, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.” I know he means well.
2. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
3. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
4. I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
5. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
6. I’m good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
7. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, but I don’t know y.
8. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
9. People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
10. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, but sometimes *y* and *i* annoy me.
Punctuation Perfection: Jokes That Will Have Grammar Nerds in Stitches
1. An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.
2. Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast.
3. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
4. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
5. I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
6. Never trust math teachers who use graph paper. They’re always plotting something.
7. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
8. Calm down. Deep breaths. And let’s get back to work.
9. The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
10. What do you call a sentence that is under arrest? A capital offense.
Amp Up Your Punctuation Game with These Side-Splitting Jokes
1. Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight. There would be mass confusion.
2. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
3. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
4. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
5. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
6. The rotation of earth really makes my day.
7. I would tell you a joke about the wind, but it blows me away.
8. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
9. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
10. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.