In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best diet jokes, diet puns and diet dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Hilarious Diet Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
1. Why did the diet coach send her client to the paint store? Because she heard you could get thinner there!
2. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!
3. Did you hear about the mathematician who went on a diet? He wanted to lose some pi!
4. I started a new diet where you only eat tacos on days that end in “y.” It’s called the taco-tarian diet.
5. My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror.
6. I’m on that new diet where you eat everything on your plate. It’s called “keeping your dog happy.”
7. I’m not on a diet, I’m just eating healthier. Not today though, today I’m having cake for breakfast.
8. My doctor told me to avoid trans fats, so now I drive around with my windows up.
9. I’m not overweight, I’m just nine inches too short.
10. Who says you can’t eat your cake and have it too? I have cake every day and I’m also on a diet!
2. Top Funny Jokes About Diets That Will Make Your Day
1. I’m not fat, I’m just easy to see.
2. I tried the Atkins diet, but it didn’t work out. So now I’m on the see-food diet.
3. My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.
4. My doctor told me to cut down on my carbs, so now I only eat the center of the donut.
5. I’m on a 30-day diet. So far I’ve lost 15 days.
6. I told my wife I wanted to start a diet, she said: “Great, when does it start?” I said, “Monday.” She said, “I meant which year?”
7. My favorite exercise is running…out of excuses to eat more cake.
8. I’m on a diet, but I keep forgetting and accidentally eating. It’s like a horrible prank on myself.
9. I put myself on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
10. I asked my mom if I was fat. She said, “I told you not to call me mom in public.”
3. Laugh Your Way to a Healthier You with these Diet Jokes
1. I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.
2. I’m on a diet, but I forgot the rules and accidentally ate a cupcake. Does anyone know if I need to start over?
3. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
4. I’m on a diet, I need to lose my Christmas weight. Oh, wait, it’s June.
5. I’m on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
6. I’m not dieting. I’m practicing good eating habits. When I practice well, I’ll consider going pro.
7. I did a push-up today. Well, actually, I fell down. But I had to use my arms to get back up…so…close enough.
8. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
9. I’m on the bodybuilder diet – it’s called bulking season. I’m preparing for hibernation.
10. Bad news: I’m on a diet. Good news: It starts tomorrow.