In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best vegetarian jokes, vegetarian puns and vegetarian dad jokes to make you laugh.
Plant-Based Punchlines: The Top Vegetarian Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh
1. Why did the tofu break up with the broccoli? It just couldn’t handle the pressure!
2. How do you know if someone is a vegan? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you… repeatedly.
3. What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments? An orca-stra!
4. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
5. What did the vegan say to the chef? Lettuce be friends!
6. Why did the vegetarian break up with their boyfriend? He couldn’t kale with their lifestyle.
7. How do you grill a vegetarian? With a veggie-burger!
8. What did the vegetable say to the salad dressing? Lettuce pray.
9. Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he’s a fungi!
10. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
Lettuce Celebrate: Hilarious Vegetarian Jokes to Tickle Your Funny Bone
1. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
2. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s pop corn?
3. Why did the tomato turn in circles? It was trying to ketchup to its friends.
4. Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
5. Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
6. What do you call an arrogant soybean? A jerk-wadame.
7. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? He was feeling crumby.
8. How do you communicate with a fish? Drop them a line.
9. What did one hat say to the other? Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
10. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
Veggie Vaudeville: The Best Plant-Based Jokes for Laughing Out Loud
1. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
2. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
3. Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? Because someone stole its handlebars.
4. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
5. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
6. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? There was nothing left but de-brie.
7. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
8. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
9. Why was the broom late? It overswept.
10. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
Peas and Thank You: Side-Splitting Vegetarian Jokes for Every Taste
1. I used to play piano by ear but now I use my hands.
2. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
3. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
4. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
6. Why did the belt get arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
7. What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.
8. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
9. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
10. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
From A to Zucchini: A Veg-tastic Collection of Vegetarian Jokes for Your Amusement
1. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
2. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
3. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way.
4. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
5. Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.
6. I used to be a baker but I couldn’t make enough dough.
7. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
8. Can February March? No, but April May.
9. I’m writing a book on hurricanes and it’s blowing me away.
10. I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.