In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best horse racing jokes, horse racing puns and horse racing dad jokes to make you laugh.
Horsing Around: The Funniest Jokes About Horse Racing
1. Why did the jockey go to the doctor? He was feeling a little horse.
2. How do you make a small fortune in horse racing? Start with a large one.
3. Did you hear about the depressed horse? He couldn’t find his mane source of happiness.
4. What did the horse say after winning the Kentucky Derby? Hay, I’m a mane attraction!
5. Why don’t horses ever bet on humans? Because they can’t stand the neigh-sayers.
6. What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neighbor!
7. How do racehorses stay in shape? They exercise in jockey gyms.
8. Why did the chef bring a horse to the kitchen? He wanted to make some stable food.
9. What do you get when a horse walks into a bar? A tale of a drunk stallion.
10. How do you know if a jockey was on your computer? Your mouse is all worn out.
Giddy Up and Laugh: Hilarious Horse Racing Jokes to Make You LOL
1. Why was the racehorse so bad at poker? Because he always folded.
2. What did the jockey say to the horse that won the race? You mane business!
3. Why did the horse go behind the hay bales? To change his jockeys.
4. How do jockeys stay cool during a race? They have fans all around them.
5. What do you call a horse that lives in your backyard? A neigh-bor.
6. Why did the jockey sit on the ground during the race? He wanted to take a jockey break.
7. Why do horses make bad dancers? They have two left hooves.
8. What do you call a horse that likes to run in circles? A racehorse.
9. What do you give a sick horse? Carrot-ten.
10. What’s a horse’s favorite TV show? Neigh-borhood Watch.
Winning the Race for Laughs: Top Funny Jokes About Horse Racing
1. Why did the horse go to school? To improve his mane grades.
2. How do you know if a horse is a good singer? He hits all the right notes.
3. What did the horse say to the jockey before the race? Let’s hoof it!
4. What do you call a horse that’s been everywhere? A globe-trotting stallion.
5. Why did the jockey wear a helmet? In case he fell head over hooves.
6. How do horses stay warm in the winter? They gallop around to stay in the hot “hoof” prints.
7. Why did the horse go to the doctor? He was feeling a little hoarse.
8. What did the jockey say to the horse who won by a nose? You really “nostril” it!
9. What’s a horse’s favorite restaurant? Taco Neigh-o.
10. Why do horses always travel in herds? They don’t like to be stable alone.
Stirrup Some Laughter: The Best Horse Racing Jokes That Will Have You Chuckling
1. Why did the horse go to the barbershop? He wanted a ponytail.
2. What do you call a horse that likes to watch TV? A horse addict.
3. Why do horses make terrible secret-keepers? They always spill the beans.
4. How do jockeys measure their success? In hands.
5. Which US state is the fastest at running races? Kentuck-hurry.
6. What do you call a horse that likes to drink soda? A Coca-Colt.
7. Why did the horse refuse to eat his hay? It was too “hay-sty” for him.
8. How do you stop a horse from laughing? Hold his hay.
9. What’s a horse’s favorite type of music? Neigh-palm pop.
10. Why did the horse go to the comedy club? He heard they had a lot of stand-up “neigh”-bors.
Off to the Races: A Roundup of Side-Splitting Horse Racing Jokes
1. What do you call a racing horse that lives on a farm? A barn runner.
2. Why was the jockey always flying? He had a lot of horse power.
3. Why did the horse decide to become a comedian? He loved to stirrup laughter.
4. How do you make a small horse into a big horse? Add “rse.”
5. What did the horse say during the race? Nothing, he let his hooves do the talking.
6. Why did the horse cross the road? To say hello to his neigh-bor.
7. Why did the jockey have to go to jail? He got caught horsing around.
8. What do you call a horse that’s stuck in traffic? A horsepower.
9. Why did the horse go to the doctor? He was feeling a little “hay-feverish.”
10. How does a horse keep track of time? With his “mane” watch.