In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best martini jokes, martini puns and martini dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Shake Things Up with These Hilarious Martini Jokes
1. Why did the martini go to the bar alone? It couldn’t find a suitable olive companion.
2. How do you make a martini laugh? Tickle its vermouth!
3. What did one martini say to the other? Olive you.
4. Why was the martini so good at poker? It always had a great “straight” face.
5. What do you call a martini that’s gone bad? An ex-straw-ginarily bad drink.
6. Why did the martini refuse to be stirred? It didn’t want to start a “spirited” debate.
7. What’s a martini’s favorite type of music? Rhythm and Booze.
8. How does a martini answer the phone? “Olive it.”
9. Why did the olive leave the martini party early? It couldn’t find a pimento date.
10. What did the bartender say to the martini that wanted more olives? “Sorry, we have a strict two-olive limit.”
2. Stirring Up Laughter: The Funniest Martini Jokes of All Time
1. What do you call a martini made with seafood? A fish-tini.
2. Why did the martini sit next to the lemon drop at the bar? It was looking for a little zest.
3. What’s a martini’s favorite kind of exercise? The Martini-Shake Weight workout.
4. Why did the olive refuse to swim in the martini? It didn’t want to get too soaked.
5. How do you know when a martini is lying? Its glass is half empty.
6. Why did the martini go to therapy? It had a gin and tonic personality.
7. What’s a martini’s favorite movie genre? Mocktail comedies.
8. How does a martini vent its frustrations? It shakes things up.
9. Why was the martini not invited to the party? It had a reputation for being a little “shaken” up.
10. What did the martini say to the bartender who made it too strong? “You’re gin-vincible!”
3. Olive a Good Laugh? These Martini Jokes Will Make Your Day
1. Why did the olive go to the martini bar? To branch out.
2. How do you compliment a martini? “You’re the zest!”
3. What’s a martini’s favorite holiday? Olive-r the holidays.
4. Why did the martini break up with the margarita? It was tired of the saltiness.
5. How does a martini pay for its drinks? With dry humor.
6. Why did the olive refuse to get stuffed in the martini? It was already pitted.
7. What’s a martini’s favorite type of weather? Blue skies with a twist.
8. Why did the martini take up improv? It wanted to be shaken, not stirred.
9. How do you know when a martini is tired? It starts to slur its words.
10. What did the olive say to the martini that was having a bad day? “Olive you need is a little laughter.”
4. Don’t Be Shaken, Be Stirred: The Top Martini Jokes to Brighten Your Day
1. Why did James Bond switch to martinis? He wanted to be shaken AND stirred.
2. How do you console a martini that’s been dumped? Remind it that there are plenty of other cocktails in the sea.
3. Why did the martini get into a fight with the manhattan? It couldn’t handle its whiskey business.
4. Why did the olive refuse to jump into the martini glass? It didn’t want to take the plunge.
5. What’s a martini’s favorite sport? Martini-golf – it’s all about the perfect swing.
6. Why did the martini go to therapy? It had an olive-obsession complex.
7. What do you call a martini with a cold? A sick-tini.
8. Why did the martini win the race? It was a quick gin-er.
9. How does a martini show affection? With a little shake of love.
10. What did the olive say to the martini that had too much salt? “You’re in a bit of a pickle.”
5. From Martini Monday to Tipsy Tuesday: The Best Martini Jokes for Every Day of the Week
1. Why did the martini go to school? It wanted to work on its social mixology skills.
2. How do you calm a nervous martini? Give it some liquid courage.
3. Why did the dirty martini leave the party early? It couldn’t handle the clean fun.
4. What’s a martini’s favorite game? Olive-er the rainbow.
5. How does a martini play hide and seek? It gets shaken, not stirred.
6. Why did the martini go to the beach? It heard the ocean had the perfect wave.
7. What’s a martini’s favorite dance move? The cocktail shake.
8. How does a martini apologize? With a twist of lemon forgiveness.
9. Why did the martini become a comedian? It had a knack for stirring up laughter.
10. What did the olive say to the martini that needed a pick-me-up? “Just keep calm and martini on.”