In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best law jokes, law puns and law dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Legal Laughs: Hilarious Jokes Every Lawyer Will Appreciate
1. Why do attorneys always carry a map? In case they need to file a brief.
2. How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
3. Why did the judge lock up the lawyer? For contempt of cort.
4. How many lawyer jokes are there? Only three – the rest are true stories.
5. What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement? Not enough cement.
6. Why did the judge go to therapy? He had a lot of unresolved issues.
7. Why don’t lawyers play hide and seek? Good luck finding one that will hide.
8. How does a lawyer say goodbye? “Charge ’em one last time!”
9. Why did the judge wear a wig? To cover up his bald-faced justice.
10. What did the lawyer name his daughter? Sue.
2. The Ultimate Collection of Funny Law Jokes That Will Crack You Up
1. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.
2. How can you tell if a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
3. Why do they bury lawyers 12 feet underground? Because deep down, they’re really nice people.
4. Why did the lawyer cross the road? To get to the payday on the other side.
5. What’s the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One’s a bottom-dwelling scum sucker, and the other’s a fish.
6. Why did the lawyer go to the beach? To catch some legal rays.
7. What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention? The caterer.
8. How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? Just say “fees!”
9. Why did the lawyer bring a ladder to court? Because he heard the case was over his head.
10. Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site? Because of all the legal briefs.
3. Laugh Out Loud with These Top Law Jokes That Prove Lawyers Have a Sense of Humor
1. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
2. How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? Three – one to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.
3. Why don’t lawyers go to the beach? Cats keep trying to bury them.
4. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of rabid dogs? The dogs eventually let go.
5. Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? If one side has one, the other side has to get one.
6. Why did the lawyer bring a shovel to court? To dig up some dirt on the witness.
7. How does an attorney sleep at night? He lies down and rests his case.
8. Why did the attorney get straight A’s? Because he knew how to Argue.
9. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of pigs? The lawyer eventually stops billing.
10. What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t chase ambulances? Retired.
4. From Courtroom Humor to Legal Puns: The Best Law Jokes of All Time
1. What did the lawyer name his daughter? Sue.
2. Why did the lawyer go broke? Because he lost his appeal.
3. Why was the lawyer always calm? He knew how to control the bar.
4. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three – one to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.
5. How can you tell a lawyer is lying? Other lawyers look interested.
6. Why is it good that there are so many lawyers? They keep the courts from handling all the business.
7. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.
8. What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your honor.
9. Why did the judge send the lawyer to jail? For contempt of court.
10. Why did the lawyer open a bakery? To make a lot of dough.
5. Get Ready to ROFL with These Side-Splitting Legal Jokes that Will Have You Rolling in the Aisles
1. Why did the judge marry the jury? He took a vow to be impartial.
2. Why did the lawyer bring a golf club to court? He wanted to hit a hole in one.
3. How does a lawyer make milkshake? By charging for it.
4. Why are lawyers like a nuclear power plant? They’re both well-grounded and full of energy.
5. What do lawyers and sperm have in common? Only one in a million turns out to be a human being.
6. Why do lawyers make terrible fishermen? They always get caught up in the appeal process.
7. How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? Three – one to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.
8. Why are lawyers like sea cucumbers? They’re slimy on the outside and squishy on the inside.
9. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of pigs? Lawyers are more kosher.
10. Why don’t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.